1 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:13,436 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 2 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,362 Oh. Sorry, sir. 3 00:00:40,362 --> 00:00:43,365 I'm always a bit jumpy after a crew mutinies on me. 4 00:00:43,365 --> 00:00:44,834 Of course. 5 00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,603 And I wanna thank you again, captain, 6 00:00:46,603 --> 00:00:47,937 for saving my cargo. 7 00:00:47,937 --> 00:00:51,040 All I did was bust open a few heads, sir. 8 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,975 Running a tight ship prepares a man 9 00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:54,811 for the day he buys his own, eh? 10 00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,312 Now where would the likes of me 11 00:00:56,312 --> 00:01:00,349 ever get enough money for a ship of his own, sir? 12 00:01:00,349 --> 00:01:01,684 ( upbeat theme playing ) 13 00:01:09,792 --> 00:01:12,829 ( seagull shrieking ) 14 00:01:14,931 --> 00:01:17,166 Who's the dried-up old wench, sir? 15 00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:19,235 My daughter, Felicity. 16 00:01:19,235 --> 00:01:22,872 She has great inner beauty. She's unmarried. 17 00:01:22,872 --> 00:01:26,308 Oh, I'm not exactly ready to settle down, sir. 18 00:01:26,308 --> 00:01:30,747 Ebenezer, some day you'd inherit my business. 19 00:01:30,747 --> 00:01:32,281 I crave the sea, sir. 20 00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:33,650 And my house. 21 00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,718 A wife needs a man who's near at hand. 22 00:01:35,718 --> 00:01:38,287 And all my ships. I'm not-- 23 00:01:38,287 --> 00:01:39,622 ( upbeat theme playing ) 24 00:01:45,628 --> 00:01:48,064 ( seagull shrieking ) 25 00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:53,369 She has quite a bit of character, 26 00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,104 doesn't she, sir? 27 00:01:57,206 --> 00:01:59,141 ( seagull shrieking ) 28 00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:08,685 Yes, quite a bit of character, Dad. 29 00:02:08,685 --> 00:02:10,019 ( upbeat theme playing ) 30 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,501 ( maid screams ) 31 00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:06,703 ( banging ) 32 00:04:06,703 --> 00:04:08,404 ( Ebenezer screams ) 33 00:04:08,404 --> 00:04:10,639 ( thunder crashing ) 34 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,433 ( thudding ) 35 00:04:59,388 --> 00:05:00,622 ( Felicity screams ) 36 00:05:00,622 --> 00:05:01,824 ( banging ) 37 00:05:01,824 --> 00:05:03,726 ( thunder rolling ) 38 00:05:08,297 --> 00:05:09,832 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 39 00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:47,804 ( Kreator's "Willing Spirit" playing ) 40 00:06:24,073 --> 00:06:28,044 ♪ The spirit is willing 41 00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:31,981 ♪ Your kisses Are chilling ♪ 42 00:06:31,981 --> 00:06:35,617 ♪ The spirit is willing 43 00:06:35,617 --> 00:06:39,188 ♪ But the flesh is weak 44 00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:15,457 ♪ The spirit is willing 45 00:07:15,457 --> 00:07:20,062 ♪ Your kisses Are chilling ♪ 46 00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:23,032 ♪ The spirit is willing 47 00:07:23,032 --> 00:07:26,168 ♪ But the flesh is weak 48 00:08:15,717 --> 00:08:18,620 ♪ The spirit is willing 49 00:08:20,156 --> 00:08:23,292 ♪ Your kisses Are chilling ♪ 50 00:08:24,326 --> 00:08:27,729 ♪ The spirit is willing 51 00:08:27,729 --> 00:08:31,633 ♪ But the flesh is weak 52 00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:40,909 ( upbeat theme playing ) 53 00:08:56,658 --> 00:08:59,361 The man said the house was built around 1880. 54 00:08:59,361 --> 00:09:00,729 Hmph! 55 00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:03,932 And there's a cove for boating, swimming and fishing. 56 00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:05,501 Hmph! 57 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,903 Almost 16 years old and all he can do is grunt. 58 00:09:07,903 --> 00:09:09,938 How long do you intend to pout? 59 00:09:09,938 --> 00:09:11,240 It's a free country. 60 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,641 Don't I have a right to be miserable? 61 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:15,777 No. Not yet. I'm still paying the bills. 62 00:09:15,777 --> 00:09:18,680 How would you like to spend the first day of your vacation 63 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,016 in your room? What room? 64 00:09:20,016 --> 00:09:22,518 I haven't even seen the house yet. 65 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,454 ( upbeat theme playing ) 66 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,866 What's everybody staring at? 67 00:09:37,866 --> 00:09:40,369 Kate, you think the reason my boss 68 00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:42,138 suggested I take an extended vacation 69 00:09:42,138 --> 00:09:43,539 is he's getting ready to fire me? 70 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,374 What do you mean? What's everybody? Where? 71 00:09:45,374 --> 00:09:47,343 ( upbeat theme playing ) 72 00:09:47,343 --> 00:09:49,778 Out there everybody's playing peek-a-boo. 73 00:09:49,778 --> 00:09:52,981 Your boss is merely aware your back has been bothering you. 74 00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:54,783 I don't think so. 75 00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:56,818 They haven't changed my typewriter ribbon 76 00:09:56,818 --> 00:09:58,354 in over six months. 77 00:09:58,354 --> 00:10:00,022 It's New England, Steve. 78 00:10:00,022 --> 00:10:02,658 They're very reserved down here until they get to know you. 79 00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:03,859 Hmph! 80 00:10:03,859 --> 00:10:05,194 ( upbeat theme playing ) 81 00:10:06,828 --> 00:10:08,197 ( Steve sighs ) 82 00:10:18,074 --> 00:10:21,243 Ben, you're the best editor on that magazine and you know it. 83 00:10:21,243 --> 00:10:22,644 That's just what I'm gonna tell them 84 00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:25,181 down at the unemployment office. 85 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,352 Boy, I can't wait to tell my friends 86 00:10:30,352 --> 00:10:32,121 what a gas of a time I had in Weirdsville. 87 00:10:32,121 --> 00:10:33,622 ( tires screeching ) 88 00:10:33,622 --> 00:10:35,491 Now, hear this, Mr. Grouch. 89 00:10:35,491 --> 00:10:38,026 We rented a house we never saw because it was cheap. 90 00:10:38,026 --> 00:10:40,262 I'm sorry I'm not rich so I can spoil you rotten 91 00:10:40,262 --> 00:10:41,597 like your other friends. 92 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,799 Now, just sit back and try to relax 93 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:46,402 and enjoy yourself. 94 00:10:46,402 --> 00:10:47,736 ( upbeat theme playing ) 95 00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:09,925 Well, here we are. 96 00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:11,893 I could barf. 97 00:11:11,893 --> 00:11:15,331 I'll say this for you, kid, you're consistent. 98 00:11:15,331 --> 00:11:16,932 Isn't it time you learned to smile? 99 00:11:16,932 --> 00:11:18,134 Let's face it, Mom, 100 00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:20,302 I got a pretty rotten life so far. 101 00:11:20,302 --> 00:11:21,503 ( car door slams ) 102 00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:24,306 So far your life is shot. 103 00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:27,809 Here you are, sweetheart. Thank you. 104 00:11:27,809 --> 00:11:29,445 There we are. 105 00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,920 Wanna take a bag, son, please? 106 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,356 Yes. 107 00:11:43,159 --> 00:11:44,426 The real estate man said 108 00:11:44,426 --> 00:11:46,094 the key would be under the doormat. 109 00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:48,530 Under the doormat? Hmm. 110 00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:52,368 There's no key here, sweetheart. 111 00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:56,605 Hey. It's open. 112 00:11:57,906 --> 00:11:59,741 Happy holiday. 113 00:12:04,513 --> 00:12:06,182 Hey, this is not bad at all, is it? 114 00:12:06,182 --> 00:12:07,883 I like it. 115 00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:09,851 ( screaming ) 116 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,521 You scared me. 117 00:12:12,521 --> 00:12:14,156 We scared you? Look, lady-- 118 00:12:14,156 --> 00:12:16,592 I heard screaming. 119 00:12:16,592 --> 00:12:18,827 Ugh! Oh! 120 00:12:18,827 --> 00:12:20,596 Your back. 121 00:12:20,596 --> 00:12:22,331 It's all right, sweetheart. 122 00:12:22,331 --> 00:12:24,800 It'll be all right in a minute. 123 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,502 Keep it straight, though. Yeah. 124 00:12:26,502 --> 00:12:27,836 Good. 125 00:12:27,836 --> 00:12:29,505 ( sighs ) 126 00:12:29,505 --> 00:12:32,608 I wasn't expecting you folks till later. 127 00:12:32,608 --> 00:12:33,675 Who are you? 128 00:12:33,675 --> 00:12:36,345 Miss Tritt. I'm the cleaning woman. 129 00:12:36,345 --> 00:12:38,113 Have you ever tried using a broom? 130 00:12:38,113 --> 00:12:39,781 ( laughing ) 131 00:12:39,781 --> 00:12:40,916 Look, lady. 132 00:12:40,916 --> 00:12:42,751 I didn't know exactly when you were coming. 133 00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:45,621 It's getting dark outside, and this house, you know-- 134 00:12:45,621 --> 00:12:47,689 Or do you? 135 00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:50,125 Besides, a girl all alone has to be careful. 136 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:51,860 Well, what do we owe you? 137 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,529 Oh, the real estate man paid me. 138 00:12:53,529 --> 00:12:56,932 Well, nice meeting you, folks. Lots of luck. 139 00:12:56,932 --> 00:12:59,134 Yeah. Our pleasure. 140 00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:01,303 Well, you know, they may be reserved down here, 141 00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:03,639 but they're all flippos. 142 00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:07,609 ( bicycle bell ringing ) 143 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:14,316 ( whistles ) 144 00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:21,257 They sure are. Yeah, they're flippos, huh? 145 00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:22,858 It's not bad, huh? 146 00:13:22,858 --> 00:13:25,327 What those New York antique dealers wouldn't do 147 00:13:25,327 --> 00:13:27,195 to get their hands on some of this. 148 00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:29,998 Huh? It's just old junk. 149 00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:32,033 ( chuckles ) 150 00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:34,836 I gotta say this for you, kid, you got a lot of class. 151 00:13:34,836 --> 00:13:36,638 I'll put it down. 152 00:13:36,638 --> 00:13:38,640 ( scoffs ) 153 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,809 Oh, boy. 154 00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:46,548 Aha, now I know why you picked this crummy old barn. 155 00:13:46,548 --> 00:13:48,250 So Uncle George could have a place to park 156 00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:50,386 his fat old yacht in that cove. 157 00:13:50,386 --> 00:13:53,789 Steve. That is not true and you know it. 158 00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,557 He's too smart for that, Mom. 159 00:13:55,557 --> 00:13:57,526 He knows you're just waiting for him to kick off 160 00:13:57,526 --> 00:13:59,861 and leave you his loot. 161 00:13:59,861 --> 00:14:03,365 Kid, don't say anything for the rest of the day. 162 00:14:03,365 --> 00:14:05,701 STEVE: Will you buy me a car when I'm 16 next week? 163 00:14:07,469 --> 00:14:09,438 No. I didn't ask to be born. 164 00:14:09,438 --> 00:14:11,440 Well, you've asked for everything else. 165 00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:15,877 One lousy car and I can't get it. 166 00:14:15,877 --> 00:14:18,314 I mean, a big problem over a car. 167 00:14:19,915 --> 00:14:22,518 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 168 00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:28,457 Big deal. Everyone has a car. 169 00:14:28,457 --> 00:14:30,392 Why can't they give me a car? 170 00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:31,727 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 171 00:14:34,296 --> 00:14:35,764 Sweet. 172 00:14:35,764 --> 00:14:37,165 BEN: Kate, the kid's impossible. 173 00:14:37,165 --> 00:14:39,468 Oh, well, he'll outgrow it. Yeah, but when? 174 00:14:39,468 --> 00:14:41,637 Steve! Sorry. 175 00:14:41,637 --> 00:14:43,271 That's all right, pal. 176 00:14:44,773 --> 00:14:46,675 Couldn't have had a girl, huh? 177 00:14:46,675 --> 00:14:48,610 Well, he must be a little excited. 178 00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:50,712 Yeah. 179 00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,414 Girls are so soft, so cuddly. 180 00:14:52,414 --> 00:14:54,483 All right, why don't you talk to him? 181 00:14:54,483 --> 00:14:56,017 All right. I will. 182 00:14:56,017 --> 00:14:59,755 Mix me a pound of martinis and I'll talk to him. 183 00:14:59,755 --> 00:15:03,158 Help! Help! 184 00:15:03,158 --> 00:15:04,960 What happened to that kid? 185 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,161 Steve? Where are you? 186 00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:08,163 STEVE: Mom! Dad! Help! Help! 187 00:15:08,163 --> 00:15:09,498 Where are you, Steve? 188 00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,502 Help! Quick! 189 00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:15,871 Help! 190 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,172 ( gasps ) 191 00:15:17,172 --> 00:15:18,507 BEN: Kid. 192 00:15:19,708 --> 00:15:21,810 Watch yourself. Oh. Oh, hurry. 193 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,545 Okay. Hold on to something. Be careful. 194 00:15:23,545 --> 00:15:25,180 I got him, I got him. 195 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,548 Hold yourself. Hold it. 196 00:15:26,548 --> 00:15:29,385 Watch yourself. Watch it. 197 00:15:29,385 --> 00:15:31,252 You all right? Yeah. Fine. 198 00:15:31,252 --> 00:15:32,454 I'm fine. 199 00:15:32,454 --> 00:15:33,689 What were you doing out there, huh? 200 00:15:33,689 --> 00:15:35,256 What do you mean what was I doing? 201 00:15:35,256 --> 00:15:37,426 I was looking out the window and some clown shoved me! 202 00:15:37,426 --> 00:15:38,927 There's nobody here but us. 203 00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:41,430 Oh, come on, Ma, you don't think I'm dumb en--? 204 00:15:43,632 --> 00:15:45,434 What's the use? 205 00:15:45,434 --> 00:15:47,603 Look, which one of these cells is mine? 206 00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:49,104 We haven't even looked at the rooms. 207 00:15:49,104 --> 00:15:50,772 I have. There's one right off the kitchen. 208 00:15:50,772 --> 00:15:52,240 Is it okay if I take that one? 209 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,575 That sounds like a maid's room. 210 00:15:53,575 --> 00:15:55,076 Don't you want something a little bigger? 211 00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:56,478 What for? It's near the ice box 212 00:15:56,478 --> 00:15:58,380 and it's got its own john. 213 00:16:00,716 --> 00:16:02,418 That's a stranger walking down the stairs. 214 00:16:02,418 --> 00:16:03,819 Oh, Ben. 215 00:16:03,819 --> 00:16:05,053 I mean it. 216 00:16:05,053 --> 00:16:06,588 That's a stranger that just walked downstairs. 217 00:16:06,588 --> 00:16:07,923 I know he's our child. 218 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,225 We have a birth certificate to prove it. 219 00:16:10,225 --> 00:16:12,394 And I love that kid. I love him. 220 00:16:12,394 --> 00:16:13,962 But how do you get through to him? 221 00:16:13,962 --> 00:16:16,498 Ben, you're exaggerating. I'm not exaggerating. 222 00:16:16,498 --> 00:16:18,667 It's just that I don't understand him. 223 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:22,070 In fact, there's a lot I don't understand. 224 00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,940 Twelve years on a job, you think you're doing great 225 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:30,345 and all of a sudden you get a vacation. 226 00:16:30,345 --> 00:16:32,681 It's just not right. 227 00:16:32,681 --> 00:16:34,450 And there's nowhere to turn. 228 00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:39,254 After 18 years of marriage and there's nowhere to turn. 229 00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:41,590 Oh, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. It's-- 230 00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:44,025 Of course I can turn to you. It's just that-- 231 00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:46,728 Well, I-- It seems the older I get, 232 00:16:46,728 --> 00:16:48,597 the less I understand about Steve, 233 00:16:48,597 --> 00:16:50,699 about my job and... 234 00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:53,234 Well, it's a terrible thing. 235 00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:55,403 All you need is a rest 236 00:16:55,403 --> 00:16:57,906 and a little special attention. 237 00:16:57,906 --> 00:16:58,907 My back. 238 00:16:58,907 --> 00:17:02,678 And a little positive thinking. 239 00:17:07,015 --> 00:17:09,317 ( door creaking ) 240 00:17:09,317 --> 00:17:10,886 ( wind gusting lightly ) 241 00:17:14,289 --> 00:17:16,558 ( upbeat theme playing ) 242 00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,615 Oh, no. 243 00:18:53,922 --> 00:18:56,157 What happened? What's going on? 244 00:18:58,727 --> 00:19:00,596 All right, mister, that comes out of your allowance. 245 00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:01,897 I didn't do it. 246 00:19:01,897 --> 00:19:03,531 Who did? The invisible man upstairs? 247 00:19:03,531 --> 00:19:04,766 Look, how am I supposed to know? 248 00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,034 Maybe the joker who kept opening 249 00:19:06,034 --> 00:19:07,903 that goofy old door did it. 250 00:19:09,004 --> 00:19:10,872 That goofy old door is bolted. 251 00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:12,240 I know. I bolted it. 252 00:19:13,441 --> 00:19:14,876 Look, all I did, I looked around 253 00:19:14,876 --> 00:19:16,344 and I went back into my dungeon. 254 00:19:16,344 --> 00:19:18,146 And finding no food 255 00:19:18,146 --> 00:19:21,182 you decided to punish us by breaking a window. 256 00:19:21,182 --> 00:19:23,619 I didn't go near the crummy old window! 257 00:19:23,619 --> 00:19:25,320 Only guilty people yell! 258 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,988 I'm innocent! I'm innocent! 259 00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:28,624 All right, Mr. Dreyfus! 260 00:19:29,791 --> 00:19:31,627 Now, clean up this mess. 261 00:19:31,627 --> 00:19:33,461 Your mother and I are going to the market. 262 00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:35,697 And while we're gone straighten up your room, 263 00:19:35,697 --> 00:19:37,198 so it won't look like a pigsty. 264 00:19:37,198 --> 00:19:39,400 Well, you haven't even been in my room yet. 265 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,736 How do you know--? Hey! 266 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:45,306 Now, will you listen to your mother, please? 267 00:19:45,306 --> 00:19:46,942 Let's go. 268 00:19:49,044 --> 00:19:50,712 He hates us. 269 00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:54,883 He's a teenager. They hate everything. 270 00:19:54,883 --> 00:19:57,018 ( glass breaking ) 271 00:19:57,018 --> 00:19:58,353 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 272 00:20:01,657 --> 00:20:04,793 ( door creaking ) 273 00:20:08,196 --> 00:20:11,599 When he was a baby, he was so sweet. 274 00:20:11,599 --> 00:20:14,936 He also used to throw up quite a bit. 275 00:20:14,936 --> 00:20:16,972 Why can't we get through to him? 276 00:20:16,972 --> 00:20:19,374 Let's face it, sweetheart, we've spawned a lemon. 277 00:20:19,374 --> 00:20:21,843 (chuckles then grunts ) 278 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,279 ( ragtime piano music being played ) 279 00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:46,868 ( upbeat theme playing ) 280 00:21:01,516 --> 00:21:04,119 ( crashing and banging ) 281 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,722 What's going on here? 282 00:21:06,722 --> 00:21:08,857 ( crashing, glass breaking ) 283 00:21:13,762 --> 00:21:15,931 ( glass breaking ) 284 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,745 STEVE: It's inconceivable. 285 00:21:29,745 --> 00:21:32,814 How many cooks rented this mausoleum? 286 00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:53,334 Lady, please, 287 00:21:53,334 --> 00:21:56,137 what do you think you're doing? 288 00:22:03,311 --> 00:22:05,246 ( crashing and banging ) 289 00:22:18,726 --> 00:22:20,295 ( gasps ) 290 00:22:21,562 --> 00:22:22,898 So that's the game, is it? 291 00:22:22,898 --> 00:22:24,299 Give old Uncle George a heart attack 292 00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:25,834 and get to the reading of the will? 293 00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:27,402 Uncle George, I didn't know it was you. 294 00:22:27,402 --> 00:22:31,172 I thought it was one of those other nuts. 295 00:22:31,172 --> 00:22:33,809 Where's your mother and that smart-alecky magazine editor? 296 00:22:33,809 --> 00:22:36,044 Well, they went into town shopping. 297 00:22:36,044 --> 00:22:37,545 Why, those three lunatics just came in 298 00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:40,882 and wrecked the joint. Come here. Look down here, boy. 299 00:22:42,217 --> 00:22:44,619 That's a 55-foot diesel cabin cruiser. 300 00:22:44,619 --> 00:22:47,088 STEVE: Hey, that's a boss-looking yacht, Uncle George. 301 00:22:47,088 --> 00:22:48,824 You know how many toilet bowls I had to sell 302 00:22:48,824 --> 00:22:50,525 to buy get that cruiser? Not really, no. 303 00:22:50,525 --> 00:22:52,994 That baby down there's got all the modern gadgets going. 304 00:22:52,994 --> 00:22:55,063 If I could find a woman with as many workable parts, 305 00:22:55,063 --> 00:22:56,832 I'd marry her. Well, she sure is a beauty. 306 00:22:56,832 --> 00:22:58,099 You gonna sue them? Huh? 307 00:22:58,099 --> 00:22:59,500 The lunatics that wrecked the joint. 308 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,569 Oh, I didn't know you heard what I said. 309 00:23:01,569 --> 00:23:03,704 Listen, son, when you're in my tax bracket, 310 00:23:03,704 --> 00:23:05,240 you hear everything everybody says. 311 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,674 You get yourself an attorney. 312 00:23:06,674 --> 00:23:08,443 Boy, Uncle George, you should have see them. 313 00:23:08,443 --> 00:23:10,411 I mean, it was like the escape from the funny farm-- 314 00:23:10,411 --> 00:23:13,181 Never skimp on an attorney. Get yourself a real killer. 315 00:23:13,181 --> 00:23:16,117 And if you can get an attorney who's also a CPA, grab him. 316 00:23:16,117 --> 00:23:18,253 They're better than a bribe. Yes, sir. 317 00:23:18,253 --> 00:23:20,288 What you gonna be when your brain's straightened out? 318 00:23:20,288 --> 00:23:21,823 Well, I haven't thought much-- 319 00:23:21,823 --> 00:23:23,892 You'll be an attorney and a CPA. 320 00:23:23,892 --> 00:23:27,295 Slide in on the gravy, grab them and squeeze. 321 00:23:27,295 --> 00:23:29,730 Got that, boy? Squeeze. ( car door closing ) 322 00:23:29,730 --> 00:23:31,199 That your folks? 323 00:23:35,336 --> 00:23:36,804 Shh. 324 00:23:37,805 --> 00:23:39,007 UNCLE GEORGE: Surprise! 325 00:23:39,007 --> 00:23:41,142 Uncle George! 326 00:23:45,646 --> 00:23:46,882 I'll take this, Mom. 327 00:23:46,882 --> 00:23:48,283 Oh, well, thank you, dear. 328 00:23:48,283 --> 00:23:50,018 Hi, Dad. 329 00:23:51,887 --> 00:23:53,754 Oh, we'll be eating shortly, Uncle George. 330 00:23:53,754 --> 00:23:56,757 No, thank you. I wouldn't want to ruin your husband's appetite. 331 00:23:56,757 --> 00:23:58,359 Now, what kind of talk is that? 332 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,196 We'd love to have you stay. Wouldn't we, dear? 333 00:24:01,196 --> 00:24:02,931 If I say no will he disinherit you? 334 00:24:02,931 --> 00:24:04,900 That's what I like about you, Ben. 335 00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:07,468 You can't stand me, I can't stand you, 336 00:24:07,468 --> 00:24:09,137 and it's all right out in the open. 337 00:24:09,137 --> 00:24:11,873 Oh, let me take those. 338 00:24:15,710 --> 00:24:16,912 Gee. 339 00:24:16,912 --> 00:24:18,479 Oh, gee! 340 00:24:18,479 --> 00:24:19,614 ( Kate gasps ) 341 00:24:21,349 --> 00:24:24,752 Uh-- Anything else I can do, Dad? 342 00:24:24,752 --> 00:24:26,687 Haven't you done enough? 343 00:24:26,687 --> 00:24:28,056 Only guilty people yell. 344 00:24:28,056 --> 00:24:29,557 Don't be too hard on the boy, Ben. 345 00:24:29,557 --> 00:24:31,226 Do you know what this is gonna cost me? 346 00:24:31,226 --> 00:24:33,028 Well, we'll make those three clowns pay. 347 00:24:33,028 --> 00:24:34,662 Now who are you blaming? 348 00:24:34,662 --> 00:24:36,497 Uncle George knows a great attorney CPA, he's a real-- 349 00:24:36,497 --> 00:24:38,533 Go to your room! It's not fair! 350 00:24:38,533 --> 00:24:41,036 Can't you talk in a normal voice? 351 00:24:41,036 --> 00:24:45,040 You wouldn't believe anything I said. 352 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,543 I'll have a chat with the boy. I've got a way with people. 353 00:24:48,543 --> 00:24:50,912 Selling toilets doesn't make you a psychologist! 354 00:24:50,912 --> 00:24:53,114 Uncle George is only trying to help, dear. 355 00:24:53,114 --> 00:24:56,384 Ben, you're suffering from an anemic bank account. 356 00:24:56,384 --> 00:24:59,220 Being an editor isn't the only business in the world. 357 00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:01,923 If you want me to help, I know lots of people that count. 358 00:25:01,923 --> 00:25:04,125 You think about that. 359 00:25:04,125 --> 00:25:06,995 Oh, he does know a lot of people. 360 00:25:06,995 --> 00:25:08,329 Well, I'm not gonna be rescued 361 00:25:08,329 --> 00:25:12,467 by the king of E-Z Flush Incorporated. 362 00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:13,901 Steve? 363 00:25:13,901 --> 00:25:15,436 STEVE: Leave me alone. 364 00:25:15,436 --> 00:25:18,273 ( creaking ) 365 00:25:23,711 --> 00:25:24,912 ( female voice moaning ) 366 00:25:24,912 --> 00:25:26,247 ( upbeat theme playing ) 367 00:25:51,506 --> 00:25:53,441 ( thudding ) 368 00:25:54,609 --> 00:25:56,677 ( Uncle George groans ) 369 00:26:06,554 --> 00:26:08,623 You think we ought to pack up and go home? 370 00:26:08,623 --> 00:26:11,392 And let a 15-year-old boy run our lives? 371 00:26:11,392 --> 00:26:12,493 Yeah. 372 00:26:12,493 --> 00:26:14,729 UNCLE GEORGE: Help! Help! 373 00:26:15,796 --> 00:26:17,598 Help! What--? 374 00:26:17,598 --> 00:26:19,867 UNCLE GEORGE: Let me out of here! Let me out! 375 00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:21,736 ( banging on door ) Uncle George! 376 00:26:26,507 --> 00:26:28,509 You don't have to resort to violence 377 00:26:28,509 --> 00:26:31,012 just because you don't want me to stay for dinner. 378 00:26:31,012 --> 00:26:32,880 But Kate and I, we were in the living room 379 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,082 trying to straighten up. 380 00:26:34,082 --> 00:26:37,218 Then who--? Who--? Who--? 381 00:26:41,522 --> 00:26:44,225 I was in my room. I was playing my records. 382 00:26:44,225 --> 00:26:48,763 And Uncle George pushed himself down the cellar stairs? 383 00:26:56,371 --> 00:26:59,140 Okay, he's gonna-- Ben. 384 00:27:02,877 --> 00:27:05,146 ( door opens and slams ) 385 00:27:08,116 --> 00:27:09,717 We love him. 386 00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:14,422 Why does he act this way? So unreasonable and impossible. 387 00:27:14,422 --> 00:27:16,391 Well, a man gets to be 40, 388 00:27:16,391 --> 00:27:18,293 he hasn't made it, he gets bitter, 389 00:27:18,293 --> 00:27:20,195 you can't cope with-- I mean Steve. 390 00:27:20,195 --> 00:27:22,697 Oh. Oh, well, I know how to handle him. 391 00:27:22,697 --> 00:27:24,665 I'll invite him to sleep on the yacht tonight. 392 00:27:24,665 --> 00:27:26,667 I'm afraid Steve would not enjoy-- 393 00:27:26,667 --> 00:27:28,136 Oh, yes, he would. 394 00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:32,407 The front of the craft is called the bow, 395 00:27:32,407 --> 00:27:34,142 the rear is called the stern. 396 00:27:34,142 --> 00:27:36,911 The left is called the port, the right is called the starb-- 397 00:27:36,911 --> 00:27:39,347 ( yawns ) 398 00:27:39,347 --> 00:27:41,048 The right is called the starboard. 399 00:27:41,048 --> 00:27:43,251 Feeling a little sleepy, boy? Mm-hm. 400 00:27:43,251 --> 00:27:45,320 That'll be all for tonight, Pederson. 401 00:27:47,622 --> 00:27:49,524 ( clears throat ) 402 00:27:55,096 --> 00:27:58,299 Yes, sir. Aye, sir. 403 00:28:04,772 --> 00:28:07,308 If you don't stay on top of them, next thing you know, 404 00:28:07,308 --> 00:28:09,043 they're calling you by your first name. 405 00:28:09,043 --> 00:28:10,611 Then they wanna hit you up for a loan. 406 00:28:10,611 --> 00:28:13,448 Boy, you sure do know a lot about stuff, Uncle George. 407 00:28:13,448 --> 00:28:15,383 You bet your anchor I do. 408 00:28:15,383 --> 00:28:17,051 And never forget, boy, 409 00:28:17,051 --> 00:28:20,621 the magic word in this life is money. 410 00:28:21,922 --> 00:28:25,260 And I mean money. 411 00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:27,162 Captain Pederson. 412 00:28:27,162 --> 00:28:29,029 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 413 00:28:29,029 --> 00:28:31,299 Good night. Good night. 414 00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:36,137 Sir. Aye. 415 00:28:41,142 --> 00:28:42,477 He hates me. 416 00:28:42,477 --> 00:28:46,181 This is your cabin. And remember, money. 417 00:28:46,181 --> 00:28:47,515 Don't fall for any of that 418 00:28:47,515 --> 00:28:49,617 "you can't take it with you" garbage. 419 00:28:49,617 --> 00:28:51,852 Who knows? Maybe you can. 420 00:28:51,852 --> 00:28:53,421 Good night. Good night. 421 00:28:53,421 --> 00:28:54,755 ( upbeat theme playing ) 422 00:30:01,956 --> 00:30:04,359 Oh. Thank you ver-- 423 00:30:05,893 --> 00:30:07,528 You! 424 00:30:07,528 --> 00:30:11,131 Oh. Oh, no, you're one of those nuts. 425 00:30:11,131 --> 00:30:12,867 Uncle George! 426 00:30:14,435 --> 00:30:16,437 Uncle George! Uncle George! UNCLE GEORGE: What is it? 427 00:30:16,437 --> 00:30:17,905 She's in there! Who? Who? 428 00:30:17,905 --> 00:30:20,308 One of the three flippos that clobbered the antiques. 429 00:30:20,308 --> 00:30:21,976 She's the young one who's built like-- 430 00:30:21,976 --> 00:30:23,311 On my ship? 431 00:30:23,311 --> 00:30:25,012 All right, Pederson, open up! 432 00:30:25,012 --> 00:30:26,847 ( thudding and crashing ) 433 00:30:26,847 --> 00:30:28,683 Go get the ax. It's past the barometer 434 00:30:28,683 --> 00:30:30,251 on the port side of the boatswain's chest. 435 00:30:30,251 --> 00:30:32,487 Right. What'd you say? 436 00:30:32,487 --> 00:30:34,255 It's the ax hanging by the television set. 437 00:30:34,255 --> 00:30:35,723 Right. 438 00:30:35,723 --> 00:30:38,959 There'll be no hanky-panky under my command. 439 00:30:38,959 --> 00:30:40,295 ( upbeat theme playing ) 440 00:30:43,264 --> 00:30:47,368 Oh, boy, another one. Uncle George! 441 00:30:47,368 --> 00:30:49,637 The goofy-looking one with the crazy hair 442 00:30:49,637 --> 00:30:52,407 just climbed aboard the boatswain's thingamajig. 443 00:30:52,407 --> 00:30:54,275 Break this sex fiend's door down. 444 00:30:54,275 --> 00:30:55,776 Right! 445 00:31:07,187 --> 00:31:08,856 Steve? 446 00:31:10,224 --> 00:31:11,926 Steve? 447 00:31:13,127 --> 00:31:16,497 Steve? Steve. 448 00:31:16,497 --> 00:31:17,832 Where'd she go? Ugh! Oh! 449 00:31:17,832 --> 00:31:19,867 Who? The moose with the wild hair? 450 00:31:19,867 --> 00:31:21,669 I was chopping down the door when she ran right by me 451 00:31:21,669 --> 00:31:23,037 into the engine room. 452 00:31:23,037 --> 00:31:24,739 I followed her, but she must have gotten-- 453 00:31:24,739 --> 00:31:26,541 You told me she went out deck. 454 00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:28,275 Well, she was. Didn't you see her? 455 00:31:28,275 --> 00:31:29,710 She ran right by here. I'm-- 456 00:31:29,710 --> 00:31:31,979 I didn't see anybody. Did you? 457 00:31:31,979 --> 00:31:33,481 Well, Uncle George, I just told you I saw-- 458 00:31:33,481 --> 00:31:34,949 Now, listen here. 459 00:31:34,949 --> 00:31:36,951 If this is another one of your fancy tales-- 460 00:31:36,951 --> 00:31:38,152 Uncle George-- 461 00:31:38,152 --> 00:31:40,287 ( water running ) 462 00:31:44,058 --> 00:31:46,961 You open the seacocks and let the water in! 463 00:31:46,961 --> 00:31:49,930 Me? Uncle George, I don't know a seacock from a seagull! 464 00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:50,931 Yes, you do! 465 00:31:50,931 --> 00:31:53,100 Lover boy and I showed them to you! 466 00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:55,336 Uncle George, honest! I wouldn't do this! 467 00:31:55,336 --> 00:31:56,537 Stop gabbing 468 00:31:56,537 --> 00:31:58,038 and get overboard on the double! 469 00:31:58,038 --> 00:32:00,074 We're sinking! We're sinking? 470 00:32:00,074 --> 00:32:02,410 Look. Oh! 471 00:32:07,448 --> 00:32:09,283 Where's the rowboat? Did you sink that too? 472 00:32:09,283 --> 00:32:10,585 I haven't sunk anything! 473 00:32:10,585 --> 00:32:12,787 Shut up and jump! 474 00:32:14,422 --> 00:32:15,856 ( upbeat theme playing ) 475 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:29,236 My rowboat! Pederson, come back here! 476 00:32:29,236 --> 00:32:30,638 Uncle George, just lean back. 477 00:32:30,638 --> 00:32:33,374 Leave me alone, damn it, I'm a senior lifeguard! 478 00:32:33,374 --> 00:32:34,709 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 479 00:32:39,313 --> 00:32:41,449 ( gurgling ) 480 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,122 ( romantic theme playing ) 481 00:33:14,615 --> 00:33:18,385 Well, that Steve really fixed my back. 482 00:33:18,385 --> 00:33:20,120 What a bang he gave me with that door. 483 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,923 You'll feel better once you lie down. 484 00:33:24,258 --> 00:33:25,793 ( chuckles ) 485 00:33:36,136 --> 00:33:38,272 You don't think Steve would come in here 486 00:33:38,272 --> 00:33:41,442 and knock me off my bed? 487 00:33:41,442 --> 00:33:43,277 No, he wouldn't do that. 488 00:33:43,277 --> 00:33:45,580 We're not gonna spend our first night here 489 00:33:45,580 --> 00:33:47,848 talking about Steve. 490 00:33:50,117 --> 00:33:51,919 Are we? 491 00:33:53,353 --> 00:33:55,823 You're right. 492 00:33:55,823 --> 00:34:00,561 Let's think about pleasant things. 493 00:34:15,676 --> 00:34:18,278 You didn't forget to pack my wooden board 494 00:34:18,278 --> 00:34:20,615 for under the mattress, did you? 495 00:34:26,353 --> 00:34:27,988 You didn't. 496 00:34:32,493 --> 00:34:34,094 How could you forget my wooden board? 497 00:34:34,094 --> 00:34:35,496 I don't know. 498 00:34:35,496 --> 00:34:38,533 I had so much to remember, I just forgot. 499 00:34:38,533 --> 00:34:39,734 It's all right, sweetheart. 500 00:34:39,734 --> 00:34:42,069 I'll sleep on the floor. 501 00:34:52,312 --> 00:34:53,548 ( groans) 502 00:34:53,548 --> 00:34:55,349 Oh. What happened? 503 00:34:55,349 --> 00:34:58,586 I don't know, but you'd better get used 504 00:34:58,586 --> 00:35:00,087 to keeping company with a short man. 505 00:35:00,087 --> 00:35:02,222 Oh, here, let me help you. Oh. 506 00:35:02,222 --> 00:35:04,291 Here. Hang on to the dresser and I'll straighten-- 507 00:35:04,291 --> 00:35:06,293 Where's the dresser? The dre-- Straight ahead 508 00:35:06,293 --> 00:35:08,563 Straight ahead. The dresser. Straighten-- Yeah. 509 00:35:08,563 --> 00:35:10,765 Easy. Easy. Oh, boy. Yeah. 510 00:35:10,765 --> 00:35:12,767 Okay. Oh, my. Watch it now. 511 00:35:12,767 --> 00:35:14,168 Now, hang on. Yeah, I'm hanging on. 512 00:35:14,168 --> 00:35:15,335 Oh, would a drink help? 513 00:35:15,335 --> 00:35:16,737 It wouldn't hurt? Wouldn't hurt. 514 00:35:16,737 --> 00:35:18,138 Right. Yeah, okay. 515 00:35:18,138 --> 00:35:20,507 Okay, now. One, two-- 516 00:35:20,507 --> 00:35:23,210 Sweetheart, don't tell me when it's coming. 517 00:35:23,210 --> 00:35:24,411 It'll hurt less. 518 00:35:24,411 --> 00:35:26,681 Just do it, right? Okay. 519 00:35:26,681 --> 00:35:28,683 Ugh. ( screams ) 520 00:35:28,683 --> 00:35:31,485 Did I break anything? No, no. I'm fine. 521 00:35:31,485 --> 00:35:33,287 Are you okay? I'm fine. 522 00:35:33,287 --> 00:35:35,155 Oh. 523 00:35:35,155 --> 00:35:37,024 Just as good as old. 524 00:35:37,024 --> 00:35:39,026 ( both laugh ) 525 00:35:39,026 --> 00:35:42,129 Now, just back me up to my mattress. 526 00:35:42,129 --> 00:35:43,463 Yes. 527 00:35:43,463 --> 00:35:44,865 Straight back. Yeah. 528 00:35:44,865 --> 00:35:46,333 Straight. Don't bend me now. 529 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:48,135 No, I'm not bending you. Don't let me bend. 530 00:35:48,135 --> 00:35:50,004 No, no. I think I'm bending. 531 00:35:50,004 --> 00:35:51,572 No, you're not bending. You're bending me. 532 00:35:51,572 --> 00:35:53,040 I'm not bending you. 533 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,509 Then the room is bending. No, I'm all right. 534 00:35:55,509 --> 00:35:56,711 That's fine. 535 00:35:56,711 --> 00:35:58,278 There. There we are. 536 00:35:58,278 --> 00:35:59,614 There we are. Fine. 537 00:35:59,614 --> 00:36:01,882 Yeah. 538 00:36:06,887 --> 00:36:08,923 Sweetheart, what are you doing? 539 00:36:08,923 --> 00:36:11,358 A good doctor always works close 540 00:36:11,358 --> 00:36:13,093 to her patient. 541 00:36:20,034 --> 00:36:22,069 But, sweetheart, my back. 542 00:36:22,069 --> 00:36:25,873 Hush. I'll charge you for a house call. 543 00:36:27,942 --> 00:36:30,577 ( doorbell ringing ) 544 00:36:30,577 --> 00:36:33,113 Did you hear that? 545 00:36:36,383 --> 00:36:38,318 Was that the doorbell? 546 00:36:38,318 --> 00:36:39,553 Yeah, that was the doorbell. 547 00:36:39,553 --> 00:36:40,755 ( doorbell rings ) 548 00:36:40,755 --> 00:36:42,690 I've been expecting it. 549 00:36:42,690 --> 00:36:44,458 Expecting what? 550 00:36:44,458 --> 00:36:46,093 Telegram. 551 00:36:46,093 --> 00:36:47,762 From who? 552 00:36:47,762 --> 00:36:49,063 My boss. 553 00:36:49,063 --> 00:36:51,732 Why would he send you a telegram? 554 00:36:51,732 --> 00:36:54,702 That's the way they fire you today. 555 00:36:55,803 --> 00:36:58,706 He may even sing it. 556 00:36:58,706 --> 00:37:00,841 ( doorbell ringing continuous ) 557 00:37:04,244 --> 00:37:05,946 Oh, boy. 558 00:37:05,946 --> 00:37:08,749 Ben, why must you always be so pessimistic? 559 00:37:08,749 --> 00:37:10,617 Okay, I'm not getting fired. 560 00:37:10,617 --> 00:37:13,620 I'm being summoned to the U.N. 561 00:37:18,292 --> 00:37:21,295 You're really anxious to get your grubby hands 562 00:37:21,295 --> 00:37:22,629 on my money, aren't you? 563 00:37:22,629 --> 00:37:25,866 Next time, hire a professional to do your dirty work. 564 00:37:25,866 --> 00:37:27,267 What happened? 565 00:37:27,267 --> 00:37:28,468 Steve! 566 00:37:28,468 --> 00:37:31,839 He sunk my yacht. 567 00:37:31,839 --> 00:37:35,042 You sunk-- I didn't! 568 00:37:35,042 --> 00:37:38,846 But take it out of my allowance anyway. 569 00:37:41,048 --> 00:37:42,349 What--? 570 00:37:44,384 --> 00:37:50,024 Operator, who do I call to get my damn yacht raised? 571 00:37:52,059 --> 00:37:53,393 ( upbeat theme playing ) 572 00:37:58,065 --> 00:38:00,400 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 573 00:38:06,006 --> 00:38:07,674 Steve, breakfast. 574 00:38:07,674 --> 00:38:09,844 Oh, I don't wanna eat. Ever. 575 00:38:11,345 --> 00:38:13,180 Now, look, Steve. You gotta come-- 576 00:38:13,180 --> 00:38:15,449 Oh, please. I might as well live in a public restroom 577 00:38:15,449 --> 00:38:18,919 for all the privacy I have around here. 578 00:38:18,919 --> 00:38:21,789 All right, Steve. Maybe some other time. 579 00:38:21,789 --> 00:38:24,191 I just thought maybe you'd like to talk about your car. 580 00:38:24,191 --> 00:38:25,726 Oh, come on, Dad, sit down. 581 00:38:25,726 --> 00:38:27,427 Get comfortable. Want a pillow? 582 00:38:27,427 --> 00:38:29,964 Oh, yeah. Good. 583 00:38:29,964 --> 00:38:32,332 Now, you've been saving up for a car, right? 584 00:38:32,332 --> 00:38:34,501 That's right, for a whole year. 585 00:38:34,501 --> 00:38:36,904 How much you got saved up? Twelve bucks. 586 00:38:39,606 --> 00:38:41,375 Twelve dollars. 587 00:38:41,375 --> 00:38:44,711 Well, Steve, you're gonna need at least $300 for a car. 588 00:38:44,711 --> 00:38:45,946 Oh, a lot more than that, Dad. 589 00:38:45,946 --> 00:38:47,782 I mean, these new sports cars really cost. 590 00:38:47,782 --> 00:38:49,917 What are you talking new? What new car? 591 00:38:49,917 --> 00:38:52,853 Look, you can't afford a new car. 592 00:38:52,853 --> 00:38:54,955 But, Dad, neither can you, but you drive one. 593 00:38:54,955 --> 00:38:57,524 I'm too poor to drive an old car. 594 00:38:57,524 --> 00:38:59,827 Besides, every time I ,get behind that wheel 595 00:38:59,827 --> 00:39:01,295 the guy in the bank is in the back seat. 596 00:39:01,295 --> 00:39:03,297 Yeah, but, Dad, you just can't get a new car 597 00:39:03,297 --> 00:39:04,564 for $300 today. 598 00:39:04,564 --> 00:39:08,435 Why don't you try? I'd like one with a motor. 599 00:39:08,435 --> 00:39:09,770 All right, look. 600 00:39:09,770 --> 00:39:12,172 Your mother and I decided last night 601 00:39:12,172 --> 00:39:15,709 that if you get a job, whatever you make each week, 602 00:39:15,709 --> 00:39:17,277 I'll match it. 603 00:39:17,277 --> 00:39:19,313 Hey, that's great, Dad. I'll start looking today. 604 00:39:19,313 --> 00:39:22,449 The sooner I connect, the sooner that green stuff will come in. 605 00:39:22,449 --> 00:39:23,984 A deal? A deal. 606 00:39:23,984 --> 00:39:25,185 You got it. Okay. 607 00:39:25,185 --> 00:39:27,822 Now, have breakfast. Okay. 608 00:39:34,461 --> 00:39:37,031 ( phone rings ) 609 00:39:43,337 --> 00:39:44,939 Hello? 610 00:39:44,939 --> 00:39:48,208 Oh, hold on just a second, please. 611 00:39:49,343 --> 00:39:50,444 Uncle George. 612 00:39:50,444 --> 00:39:52,712 There's a Mr. Dorple on the phone. 613 00:39:52,712 --> 00:39:54,248 Salvage man. 614 00:39:54,248 --> 00:39:56,683 Where do you buy your clothes? From the kiddie shop? 615 00:39:56,683 --> 00:39:57,985 Next time I'm fitted, 616 00:39:57,985 --> 00:40:00,821 I'll give the tailor your measurements. 617 00:40:02,857 --> 00:40:04,124 Where the hell are you? 618 00:40:04,124 --> 00:40:05,625 Now, don't worry, Mr. Merkimmer. 619 00:40:05,625 --> 00:40:09,163 We'll have that yacht raised for you in no time. 620 00:40:09,163 --> 00:40:10,464 Now, remember, Steve, 621 00:40:10,464 --> 00:40:12,066 even if they turn you down for the job 622 00:40:12,066 --> 00:40:13,533 always act polite. Yes, sir. 623 00:40:13,533 --> 00:40:15,870 Just make up your mind you're gonna get the job, boy, 624 00:40:15,870 --> 00:40:17,171 you'll get it. Yes, sir. 625 00:40:17,171 --> 00:40:18,705 Some jobs certain people aren't suited to, 626 00:40:18,705 --> 00:40:20,540 so don't walk in expecting to be hired off 627 00:40:20,540 --> 00:40:21,909 right like that. No, sir. 628 00:40:21,909 --> 00:40:23,410 It's all out there waiting for you, boy, 629 00:40:23,410 --> 00:40:25,079 just reach out and grab it. Yes, sir. 630 00:40:25,079 --> 00:40:27,281 I gave you a lift to buy some clothes, 631 00:40:27,281 --> 00:40:28,849 not to give my son advice. 632 00:40:28,849 --> 00:40:30,717 Nobody makes it big by being a defeatist. 633 00:40:30,717 --> 00:40:31,952 Take away your high-priced lawyers 634 00:40:31,952 --> 00:40:33,553 and your shifty accountants, 635 00:40:33,553 --> 00:40:35,189 you'd be in a prison cell right now. Remember that. 636 00:40:35,189 --> 00:40:36,723 Yes, sir. If I was in a prison cell, 637 00:40:36,723 --> 00:40:38,125 you can bet your afterdeck, 638 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:39,793 it'd be the fanciest room they've got. 639 00:40:39,793 --> 00:40:41,328 Remember that. Yes, sir. 640 00:40:43,130 --> 00:40:46,166 Gee, thanks for the swell advice. 641 00:40:49,904 --> 00:40:51,371 BEN: Your after what? 642 00:40:51,371 --> 00:40:53,573 UNCLE GEORGE: My afterdeck. BEN: Your poop deck. 643 00:40:53,573 --> 00:40:55,842 ( upbeat theme playing ) 644 00:41:00,881 --> 00:41:03,383 Good morning, sir. Good morning. 645 00:41:03,383 --> 00:41:08,222 I'm a very polite fellow and I was looking for a job. 646 00:41:08,222 --> 00:41:12,059 Sorry, I'm not one of them bigshot chain stores 647 00:41:12,059 --> 00:41:13,593 who can throw money around. 648 00:41:13,593 --> 00:41:16,263 Oh, but, sir, I'm a good worker. 649 00:41:16,263 --> 00:41:20,700 I'm diligent, kind, trustworthy. 650 00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:22,736 Hi. 651 00:41:22,736 --> 00:41:24,071 Hi. 652 00:41:25,405 --> 00:41:29,009 My name's Priscilla. Isn't that a gas? 653 00:41:29,009 --> 00:41:30,610 Priscilla Weems. 654 00:41:30,610 --> 00:41:32,046 I'm Steve Pow-- 655 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,082 Hey, you're the-- 656 00:41:35,082 --> 00:41:37,884 Not really, but I do look just like her. 657 00:41:37,884 --> 00:41:39,553 Like who? Jenny. 658 00:41:39,553 --> 00:41:41,388 She used to be the maid in the house that you're renting. 659 00:41:41,388 --> 00:41:43,057 Well, she's sure a crummy maid 660 00:41:43,057 --> 00:41:44,491 the way she goes around wrecking antiques. 661 00:41:44,491 --> 00:41:46,460 She's a ghost. And sinking yachts with the-- 662 00:41:46,460 --> 00:41:48,795 What'd you say? Jenny's a ghost, 663 00:41:48,795 --> 00:41:50,530 and so are Ebenezer and Felicity. 664 00:41:50,530 --> 00:41:52,132 They died in 1898. 665 00:41:52,132 --> 00:41:53,800 My family's related to Jenny. 666 00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,169 She never bothered to get married, 667 00:41:55,169 --> 00:41:56,370 but there's a long family tree 668 00:41:56,370 --> 00:41:57,804 that suggests she was very busy. 669 00:41:57,804 --> 00:41:59,373 I guess it was overactive glands. 670 00:41:59,373 --> 00:42:01,375 Anyway, my parents don't like to mention it too often 671 00:42:01,375 --> 00:42:02,909 because Jenny not being married, 672 00:42:02,909 --> 00:42:06,146 well, that makes them all-- Look, Priscilla, 673 00:42:06,146 --> 00:42:07,881 you're talking to a guy 674 00:42:07,881 --> 00:42:09,783 who is thinking of buying a new car. 675 00:42:09,783 --> 00:42:12,686 So don't give me any of that ghost goulash. 676 00:42:12,686 --> 00:42:15,322 Well, why don't we discuss it over a strawberry sundae? 677 00:42:17,024 --> 00:42:21,328 Well, I'm slightly embarrassed at the moment, wallet-wise. 678 00:42:21,328 --> 00:42:22,896 But as soon as I land a job I'd love-- 679 00:42:22,896 --> 00:42:24,231 Well, if you're looking for a job, 680 00:42:24,231 --> 00:42:26,466 drop in at Mother's Bar down the street. 681 00:42:26,466 --> 00:42:28,935 You mean your mother runs a saloon? 682 00:42:28,935 --> 00:42:30,604 Don't be gauche. 683 00:42:30,604 --> 00:42:33,140 And after you get paid, look me up. 684 00:42:33,140 --> 00:42:36,143 I hold séances for the unbelievers. 685 00:42:36,143 --> 00:42:39,479 A new car. Hmm. 686 00:42:39,479 --> 00:42:40,680 Bye. 687 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,282 Bye. 688 00:42:46,053 --> 00:42:48,322 Sir. Huh? Yes? 689 00:42:50,424 --> 00:42:53,327 How do I get to Mother's Bar? 690 00:42:53,327 --> 00:42:56,363 Young man, just because there's no job, 691 00:42:56,363 --> 00:42:58,732 there's no reason to turn to drink. 692 00:42:58,732 --> 00:43:01,135 ( upbeat theme playing ) 693 00:43:01,135 --> 00:43:03,503 Sheesh. 694 00:43:03,503 --> 00:43:05,739 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 695 00:43:10,177 --> 00:43:11,811 FESS: All right, drink up, will you fellas? 696 00:43:11,811 --> 00:43:14,014 Raising that yacht's gonna be a whole day's job. 697 00:43:14,014 --> 00:43:15,449 Soon as we've killed our beers, Fess. 698 00:43:15,449 --> 00:43:17,251 Them beers will die of old age 699 00:43:17,251 --> 00:43:19,019 before these two get off their duffs. 700 00:43:19,019 --> 00:43:21,121 There ain't no ghost, you boob. 701 00:43:21,121 --> 00:43:23,723 Mother, will you make her shut her yap? 702 00:43:23,723 --> 00:43:26,793 I've had a request for you to shut your yap. 703 00:43:26,793 --> 00:43:29,863 The Constitution guarantees freedom of speech. 704 00:43:29,863 --> 00:43:34,068 Anybody thinks different is welcome to step outside. 705 00:43:37,003 --> 00:43:38,205 Your move. 706 00:43:38,205 --> 00:43:39,773 I know her type. 707 00:43:39,773 --> 00:43:42,342 You hit them once, and you got a lawsuit on your hands. 708 00:43:42,342 --> 00:43:44,344 Gloria, are you saying Booper and me are afraid 709 00:43:44,344 --> 00:43:46,080 to go below Twitchell cove? 710 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,614 Don't be so sensitive, Rabbit. 711 00:43:47,614 --> 00:43:49,316 Being yellow is a sign of brains. 712 00:43:49,316 --> 00:43:51,385 Are you gonna make her shut up? 713 00:43:51,385 --> 00:43:53,853 I've heard from that party again 714 00:43:53,853 --> 00:43:55,555 concerning your big mouth. 715 00:43:55,555 --> 00:43:56,956 Ghosts. Ha! 716 00:43:56,956 --> 00:43:59,793 How come Millie Stemhouse went crazy at the Twitchell place? 717 00:43:59,793 --> 00:44:02,396 Because Millie Stemhouse was crazy the day she was born. 718 00:44:02,396 --> 00:44:04,531 Not as crazy as she was after she worked there. 719 00:44:04,531 --> 00:44:07,401 And how come Jeb Hardwick up and died right on the front step? 720 00:44:07,401 --> 00:44:10,036 Because his horse up and reared him through him, 721 00:44:10,036 --> 00:44:11,405 that's why. Yeah? 722 00:44:11,405 --> 00:44:13,507 Well, something made that lame-lazy old nag 723 00:44:13,507 --> 00:44:15,008 up and rear like a ballerina. 724 00:44:15,008 --> 00:44:16,976 Wasn't nothing human. 725 00:44:16,976 --> 00:44:18,178 Neither are you. 726 00:44:18,178 --> 00:44:19,579 ( laughs ) 727 00:44:19,579 --> 00:44:21,348 Come on, boys. 728 00:44:25,519 --> 00:44:27,354 There's death lurking in that house, 729 00:44:27,354 --> 00:44:29,389 in the cove and all around it. 730 00:44:29,389 --> 00:44:33,293 Listen, did you all by your ugly self 731 00:44:33,293 --> 00:44:35,629 ever lay eyes on one of them ghosts face to face, 732 00:44:35,629 --> 00:44:38,098 you lying, soused-up hunk of know-nothing. 733 00:44:38,098 --> 00:44:39,433 No. 734 00:44:40,534 --> 00:44:42,469 But one of them touched me. 735 00:44:42,469 --> 00:44:45,105 ( dramatic theme playing ) 736 00:44:49,042 --> 00:44:50,410 I was cleaning up the kitchen, 737 00:44:50,410 --> 00:44:53,079 that's where they got that cellar door. 738 00:44:53,079 --> 00:44:54,681 And all of a sudden I feel a chill 739 00:44:54,681 --> 00:44:57,384 like them Eskimos must feel when they keep the window open. 740 00:44:59,786 --> 00:45:01,488 And then it happened. 741 00:45:02,489 --> 00:45:05,325 I hear this creaky sound. 742 00:45:05,325 --> 00:45:08,295 I look around, the cellar door is open. 743 00:45:08,295 --> 00:45:10,029 I close it, I go back to cleaning, 744 00:45:10,029 --> 00:45:11,698 here it comes again, 745 00:45:11,698 --> 00:45:16,336 Creak. 746 00:45:16,336 --> 00:45:18,004 I go over to the door, 747 00:45:18,004 --> 00:45:21,341 now there's a cold wind blowing up from the cellar, 748 00:45:21,341 --> 00:45:23,143 like only the devil's icebox could make. 749 00:45:23,143 --> 00:45:26,079 I look around, nobody but me. 750 00:45:26,079 --> 00:45:31,685 I start to close the door and I smell something. 751 00:45:33,820 --> 00:45:35,689 Smoke. 752 00:45:35,689 --> 00:45:39,125 It's a real funny kind of smell. 753 00:45:39,125 --> 00:45:41,995 All of a sudden my bones freeze. 754 00:45:41,995 --> 00:45:45,599 I wanna move, but my feet ain't listening. 755 00:45:45,599 --> 00:45:47,767 And then I feel something that's all over me 756 00:45:47,767 --> 00:45:48,902 like a shroud. 757 00:45:51,805 --> 00:45:53,907 I can't breathe, I'm so scared. 758 00:45:59,779 --> 00:46:01,481 I close the door. 759 00:46:01,481 --> 00:46:05,084 Somehow I turn around, 760 00:46:05,084 --> 00:46:06,286 nobody there. 761 00:46:06,286 --> 00:46:08,955 But I know there is. 762 00:46:08,955 --> 00:46:12,459 I turn around again, 763 00:46:12,459 --> 00:46:14,828 that cellar door is open. 764 00:46:14,828 --> 00:46:17,231 Who opened it? 765 00:46:18,432 --> 00:46:21,067 I wonder how many people have died in that house 766 00:46:21,067 --> 00:46:23,203 that nobody knows about. 767 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,709 Get yourself another boy. 768 00:46:29,709 --> 00:46:31,545 Get two. 769 00:46:31,545 --> 00:46:33,413 What? 770 00:46:33,413 --> 00:46:35,415 Where am I gonna get somebody the last minute 771 00:46:35,415 --> 00:46:36,950 to go down below? 772 00:46:36,950 --> 00:46:40,520 Hi, anybody know where a fella can get a job around here? 773 00:46:42,889 --> 00:46:45,225 Come here, son. 774 00:46:45,225 --> 00:46:47,527 ( chuckles ) 775 00:46:49,396 --> 00:46:51,231 ( upbeat theme playing ) 776 00:47:14,888 --> 00:47:16,823 ( wind whistling ) 777 00:47:23,430 --> 00:47:25,265 I just got that same cold feeling I had 778 00:47:25,265 --> 00:47:27,534 when that cellar door opened. 779 00:47:44,217 --> 00:47:47,287 What do you mean there's nothing down there but the anchor? 780 00:47:47,287 --> 00:47:49,889 Get back under and find that yacht. 781 00:47:49,889 --> 00:47:51,525 Yes, sir. 782 00:47:56,896 --> 00:47:58,565 The salvage crew is already working 783 00:47:58,565 --> 00:48:01,768 down below the cove, Uncle George. 784 00:48:01,768 --> 00:48:04,037 Well, where'd you get the jacket, dear? 785 00:48:04,037 --> 00:48:06,940 Just happened to catch my eye, so I snapped it up. 786 00:48:06,940 --> 00:48:08,542 You only bought it to show off 787 00:48:08,542 --> 00:48:09,943 because I offered to pay for it. 788 00:48:09,943 --> 00:48:11,177 They overcharged him. 789 00:48:11,177 --> 00:48:12,979 Look, if I wanna buy a jacket and spend money, 790 00:48:12,979 --> 00:48:15,148 that's my business. He's loaded with hostility. 791 00:48:15,148 --> 00:48:17,083 You let me buy you those trousers, didn't you? 792 00:48:17,083 --> 00:48:19,486 Only because you split the seams on my others. 793 00:48:19,486 --> 00:48:21,721 All that high living has gone to your afterdeck. 794 00:48:21,721 --> 00:48:23,423 ( upbeat theme playing ) 795 00:48:32,466 --> 00:48:34,668 It's not there, sir. Yeah, I know. 796 00:48:34,668 --> 00:48:36,603 You already told me that it's not there. 797 00:48:36,603 --> 00:48:38,372 I don't mean the yacht, I mean the anchor. 798 00:48:38,372 --> 00:48:39,839 The anchor's not there. Wait a minute. 799 00:48:39,839 --> 00:48:41,375 You mean to tell me that the anchor 800 00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:42,909 you just saw down there a minute ago, 801 00:48:42,909 --> 00:48:45,011 it's not there anymore? That's right. 802 00:48:45,011 --> 00:48:47,046 Look, kid. I got a surprise for you. 803 00:48:47,046 --> 00:48:49,649 All the anchors I know don't know how to swim. 804 00:48:49,649 --> 00:48:51,451 Now, get back down there, 805 00:48:51,451 --> 00:48:54,087 find that yacht and be quick about it. 806 00:48:54,087 --> 00:48:56,556 Yes, Dad. Uh, sir. 807 00:49:11,871 --> 00:49:13,907 What's the matter? You still mad 808 00:49:13,907 --> 00:49:16,309 because they won't let you split my skull with your ax? 809 00:49:16,309 --> 00:49:19,479 You must have a lot of kids. No. 810 00:49:19,479 --> 00:49:21,548 So far we've only been blessed with one. 811 00:49:21,548 --> 00:49:23,182 Hope you got a good photograph of the boy 812 00:49:23,182 --> 00:49:24,784 because he ain't gonna look the same 813 00:49:24,784 --> 00:49:27,086 after they drag this cove for him. 814 00:49:34,093 --> 00:49:36,463 You mean Steve? 815 00:49:36,463 --> 00:49:38,998 My son? 816 00:49:38,998 --> 00:49:41,200 My son Steve is-- 817 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,336 Steve! Steve! 818 00:49:43,336 --> 00:49:44,671 ( upbeat theme playing ) 819 00:50:14,367 --> 00:50:15,702 Steve. 820 00:50:16,703 --> 00:50:18,271 Steve, you all right? 821 00:50:18,271 --> 00:50:21,508 How could they let a little boy do such a dangerous thing? 822 00:50:21,508 --> 00:50:23,543 Steve, I've known you to do 823 00:50:23,543 --> 00:50:25,011 some stupid things in your life, 824 00:50:25,011 --> 00:50:27,046 but, boy, your really topped yourself this time. 825 00:50:27,046 --> 00:50:29,348 Dad, you told me to get a job and that's what I did. 826 00:50:29,348 --> 00:50:30,717 I got a job. Yeah. 827 00:50:31,785 --> 00:50:33,587 Get yourself another moron. 828 00:50:33,587 --> 00:50:36,222 Well, who's gonna do it? You! 829 00:50:36,222 --> 00:50:38,658 Oh. Oh, yeah. 830 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,956 Give me a hand. Give me a hand! 831 00:51:15,495 --> 00:51:17,130 You had to take a job, huh? 832 00:51:17,130 --> 00:51:19,032 I'm sorry. 833 00:51:20,066 --> 00:51:21,467 Where do you sit on this boat? 834 00:51:21,467 --> 00:51:23,570 Just sit down. Get back there. 835 00:51:23,570 --> 00:51:26,472 You're on the wrong side. Get in the back. 836 00:51:26,472 --> 00:51:28,875 Fess is down there with no oxygen tank. 837 00:51:28,875 --> 00:51:31,645 Oh, old Fess can handle himself okay. 838 00:51:31,645 --> 00:51:34,213 Dad, look, when I asked for a job, I was polite. 839 00:51:34,213 --> 00:51:35,615 Just like you said. 840 00:51:35,615 --> 00:51:38,885 Don't talk to me for the rest of the summer. 841 00:51:40,620 --> 00:51:41,955 ( dramatic theme playing ) 842 00:51:47,426 --> 00:51:50,930 Dad. I said don't talk to me. 843 00:51:50,930 --> 00:51:53,232 Yes, sir. I just thought you'd like to know 844 00:51:53,232 --> 00:51:55,101 the rowboat is leaking. 845 00:51:59,673 --> 00:52:02,008 Start bailing. 846 00:52:10,584 --> 00:52:13,553 Put your finger in it. Something. 847 00:52:15,521 --> 00:52:17,290 ( grunting ) 848 00:52:29,636 --> 00:52:31,838 Welcome home, Fess. 849 00:52:31,838 --> 00:52:36,009 I was down there and it was freezing. 850 00:52:36,009 --> 00:52:39,212 And here comes that anchoress swimming towards me. 851 00:52:39,212 --> 00:52:41,114 All by itself. 852 00:52:41,114 --> 00:52:44,083 All by itself? 853 00:52:44,083 --> 00:52:46,753 I'm going to Boston and buy another yacht. 854 00:52:46,753 --> 00:52:49,388 The insurance company can worry about that one. 855 00:52:49,388 --> 00:52:50,690 Who owns the truck? 856 00:52:50,690 --> 00:52:52,659 It's mine. Here, help me up. 857 00:52:52,659 --> 00:52:54,360 You can have it for $2000, 858 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,062 and I'll throw in the rest of my business 859 00:52:56,062 --> 00:52:57,130 for another 6. 860 00:52:57,130 --> 00:52:59,265 I'll give you 3 for the whole caboodle. 861 00:52:59,265 --> 00:53:01,735 Three? I'll take it. 862 00:53:01,735 --> 00:53:03,102 STEVE: Say, Uncle George, 863 00:53:03,102 --> 00:53:04,638 can I go to Boston with you? I'd love-- 864 00:53:04,638 --> 00:53:06,339 You're going straight to your room. 865 00:53:06,339 --> 00:53:08,875 And no detours. 866 00:53:18,417 --> 00:53:20,453 Ben. Oh, it's okay. 867 00:53:20,453 --> 00:53:22,622 Well, you see, sweetheart, a cheap jacket, 868 00:53:22,622 --> 00:53:25,291 the water would run right off. But this? 869 00:53:25,291 --> 00:53:26,993 This holds the water good. 870 00:53:26,993 --> 00:53:29,929 See? This will never dry out. 871 00:53:36,435 --> 00:53:39,038 Now, do you believe me? I can prove there are ghosts. 872 00:53:39,038 --> 00:53:40,907 Meet me at the cemetery tonight. 873 00:53:40,907 --> 00:53:42,341 Priscilla there are no ghosts-- 874 00:53:42,341 --> 00:53:43,542 Chicken. 875 00:53:43,542 --> 00:53:44,744 You're on. Okay. 876 00:53:44,744 --> 00:53:46,145 Now be in the cemetery tonight-- 877 00:53:46,145 --> 00:53:47,146 I know, 12 midnight. 878 00:53:47,146 --> 00:53:48,748 That's only in books. See you at 8. 879 00:53:48,748 --> 00:53:51,617 After the ghosts have had dinner. 880 00:53:51,617 --> 00:53:52,952 ( upbeat theme playing ) 881 00:54:21,447 --> 00:54:24,550 Hi. Hi. 882 00:54:24,550 --> 00:54:27,286 Did I scare you? Oh, of course not. 883 00:54:27,286 --> 00:54:29,355 Well, I'm here. Make with the ghosts? 884 00:54:29,355 --> 00:54:32,525 Well, you've gotta stand behind their graves. 885 00:54:32,525 --> 00:54:34,928 ( laughing ): Oh, now, come on. 886 00:54:34,928 --> 00:54:37,831 I mean, shouldn't a coyote be howling or something? 887 00:54:37,831 --> 00:54:40,366 ( laughing ) 888 00:54:40,366 --> 00:54:41,901 ( gasps) 889 00:54:41,901 --> 00:54:43,236 ( giggles) 890 00:54:44,570 --> 00:54:46,706 Who's he? Miles Thorpe. 891 00:54:46,706 --> 00:54:48,441 Oh, what's he doing here? 892 00:54:48,441 --> 00:54:51,510 His parents think he's in bed. I'm his babysitter. 893 00:54:51,510 --> 00:54:52,912 ( giggles) 894 00:54:52,912 --> 00:54:55,715 I suppose you see ghosts too, huh? 895 00:54:55,715 --> 00:54:57,083 All the time. 896 00:54:57,083 --> 00:54:59,218 When Mommy and Daddy come back from the movies 897 00:54:59,218 --> 00:55:01,354 and come in to see if I'm sleeping okay, 898 00:55:01,354 --> 00:55:04,123 I tell them about going to the cemetery 899 00:55:04,123 --> 00:55:06,559 and seeing all the ghosts and everything. 900 00:55:06,559 --> 00:55:07,827 Sure you do. 901 00:55:07,827 --> 00:55:09,328 He does. They just don't believe him. 902 00:55:09,328 --> 00:55:12,031 Parents never believe little boys. 903 00:55:12,031 --> 00:55:14,200 Okay, Miles, dear, I'm ready. 904 00:55:27,513 --> 00:55:28,948 Gotta get behind the grave. 905 00:55:28,948 --> 00:55:31,017 This is for you. Thank you. 906 00:55:31,017 --> 00:55:32,986 And this is for you. 907 00:55:32,986 --> 00:55:35,755 And this is for me. 908 00:55:37,490 --> 00:55:39,158 Felicity loves Ebenezer. 909 00:55:40,426 --> 00:55:43,296 ( laughing ) 910 00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:44,430 Throw a daisy. 911 00:55:47,733 --> 00:55:49,568 Ebenezer loves Jenny. 912 00:55:49,568 --> 00:55:52,505 ( laughing ) 913 00:55:52,505 --> 00:55:54,473 Love is for two. 914 00:55:56,009 --> 00:55:57,844 Three is too many. 915 00:55:57,844 --> 00:56:00,780 ( laughing ) 916 00:56:00,780 --> 00:56:02,816 Come out of your graves 917 00:56:02,816 --> 00:56:05,885 and into the night. 918 00:56:07,921 --> 00:56:10,790 Come to our séance. 919 00:56:11,891 --> 00:56:13,893 and tell us your plight. 920 00:56:13,893 --> 00:56:15,895 ( laughing ) 921 00:56:18,998 --> 00:56:20,333 Jenny, are you there? 922 00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:22,035 Well, if she is, then leave a message 923 00:56:22,035 --> 00:56:24,270 with her answering service. 924 00:56:24,270 --> 00:56:25,271 ( banging ) 925 00:56:25,271 --> 00:56:27,941 Hey, what's the--? Shh. 926 00:56:30,743 --> 00:56:32,145 Jenny. 927 00:56:32,145 --> 00:56:35,481 Jenny, Steve Powell is with us and-- 928 00:56:37,450 --> 00:56:39,853 Jenny's got her eye on you. Oh. 929 00:56:39,853 --> 00:56:41,520 Oh, hello, Felicity, how are you? 930 00:56:42,889 --> 00:56:45,224 Oh, well that's ve-- Jenny, would you--? 931 00:56:45,224 --> 00:56:47,726 Please do not interrupt. It's Felicity's turn. 932 00:56:47,726 --> 00:56:49,929 Steve's not even 16 yet. 933 00:56:49,929 --> 00:56:51,931 Sorry, Felicity, go on. 934 00:56:51,931 --> 00:56:54,133 I see. 935 00:56:55,734 --> 00:56:57,871 Well, hold on, I'll ask him. 936 00:56:57,871 --> 00:56:59,305 Felicity says that if you buy 937 00:56:59,305 --> 00:57:00,940 some of the things she wants, she'll lay off. 938 00:57:00,940 --> 00:57:02,275 What sort of things? 939 00:57:03,509 --> 00:57:05,378 Felicity, speak slowly. 940 00:57:07,313 --> 00:57:09,883 Silk hose, size 10 and a half. 941 00:57:11,050 --> 00:57:13,219 A new sheer night gown with flowers on it. 942 00:57:14,220 --> 00:57:17,891 Bright red Tujour lipstick. 943 00:57:17,891 --> 00:57:20,960 Ooh La La perfume number 3. 944 00:57:21,995 --> 00:57:24,497 Kiss Me Quick nail polish. 945 00:57:24,497 --> 00:57:27,633 And high-gloss lacquer deodorant spray 946 00:57:27,633 --> 00:57:29,235 with a five-day guarantee. 947 00:57:30,303 --> 00:57:32,171 Thank you, Felicity. Good night. 948 00:57:32,171 --> 00:57:36,075 Now, all you have to do-- Oh, I get it. 949 00:57:36,075 --> 00:57:38,244 It's the old badger game. 950 00:57:38,244 --> 00:57:40,146 Adios, strange one. No fool like a young one. 951 00:57:40,146 --> 00:57:41,680 Oh, go fly a broom. 952 00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,617 If Felicity heard you, you'll really get it now. 953 00:57:44,617 --> 00:57:46,152 ( dramatic theme playing ) 954 00:57:54,627 --> 00:57:55,962 ( popping ) ( gasps ) 955 00:58:06,339 --> 00:58:07,840 You. 956 00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:09,175 You're one of the-- 957 00:58:10,476 --> 00:58:12,611 And Priscilla told me you were a ghost. 958 00:58:13,746 --> 00:58:16,315 Well, you sure don't look-- 959 00:58:22,888 --> 00:58:24,223 ( upbeat theme playing ) 960 00:58:28,761 --> 00:58:30,796 Sweetheart, that's a first. 961 00:58:30,796 --> 00:58:32,231 What is? 962 00:58:32,231 --> 00:58:35,401 We sent Steve to his room after dinner, 963 00:58:35,401 --> 00:58:38,337 we haven't heard a peep out of him since. 964 00:58:38,337 --> 00:58:41,107 Well, to our new Steve. To our new Steve. 965 00:58:41,107 --> 00:58:43,242 ( yacht horn blaring ) 966 00:58:52,618 --> 00:58:55,989 That must be Uncle George with his new yacht. 967 00:58:56,889 --> 00:58:59,025 ( yacht horn blaring ) 968 00:59:02,528 --> 00:59:04,597 He seems eager to come to shore. 969 00:59:04,597 --> 00:59:06,465 Well, he can't wait to brag to me 970 00:59:06,465 --> 00:59:08,401 how he made the insurance company crawl. 971 00:59:08,401 --> 00:59:11,204 Now, Ben, you mustn't resent Uncle George. 972 00:59:11,204 --> 00:59:13,572 He tries very hard. 973 00:59:15,074 --> 00:59:16,309 To Uncle George. 974 00:59:16,309 --> 00:59:19,178 ( upbeat theme playing ) 975 00:59:59,452 --> 01:00:02,155 Oh, okay, so you're a ghost. 976 01:00:02,155 --> 01:00:04,657 I believe. I believe. 977 01:00:19,938 --> 01:00:21,674 ( glass breaking ) 978 01:00:28,514 --> 01:00:31,250 Knock it off, will you? I'm a friend of Miles! 979 01:00:34,953 --> 01:00:37,090 ( objects banging and crashing ) 980 01:00:44,130 --> 01:00:46,132 Why don't you hang out at the graveyard 981 01:00:46,132 --> 01:00:48,101 where you belong? 982 01:01:11,790 --> 01:01:13,559 ( doorbell rings ) 983 01:01:22,568 --> 01:01:25,338 Guess what happened to my brand-new yacht? 984 01:01:25,338 --> 01:01:26,872 You don't mean it-- 985 01:01:26,872 --> 01:01:30,309 And the undertow capsized my rowboat. 986 01:01:30,309 --> 01:01:32,745 Gee, that's too bad. 987 01:01:32,745 --> 01:01:34,713 ( chuckling ) 988 01:01:37,150 --> 01:01:38,951 You'll probably get a new rowboat 989 01:01:38,951 --> 01:01:40,786 with tomorrow's yacht. 990 01:01:40,786 --> 01:01:42,721 ( snickers ) 991 01:01:42,721 --> 01:01:43,922 STEVE: Help! 992 01:01:43,922 --> 01:01:45,258 What the hell is that? 993 01:01:51,430 --> 01:01:53,366 I'm gonna tell you the truth. 994 01:01:53,366 --> 01:01:55,768 You better tell us or-- Ben, let him talk. 995 01:01:55,768 --> 01:01:57,903 I'm gonna tell you exactly what happened 996 01:01:57,903 --> 01:01:59,104 to Uncle George's yacht. 997 01:01:59,104 --> 01:02:01,507 Two yachts. We're waiting. 998 01:02:01,507 --> 01:02:03,809 Yes, sir, I know just who wrecked the yachts 999 01:02:03,809 --> 01:02:05,511 and this furniture and the house 1000 01:02:05,511 --> 01:02:07,280 and who knows what they're gonna do next. 1001 01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,282 Well, tell us. Who is--? Let the boy talk. 1002 01:02:09,282 --> 01:02:10,616 He said he's gonna tell the truth. 1003 01:02:10,616 --> 01:02:12,251 That's right, Steve. Tell the truth. 1004 01:02:12,251 --> 01:02:13,986 The truth is always the best way. 1005 01:02:13,986 --> 01:02:17,490 All right. Now who is responsible for all this? 1006 01:02:17,490 --> 01:02:19,792 Ghosts. 1007 01:02:22,728 --> 01:02:24,230 Ghosts? 1008 01:02:24,230 --> 01:02:27,166 There was a lady ghost here a minute ago. 1009 01:02:27,166 --> 01:02:28,901 A lady ghost? 1010 01:02:28,901 --> 01:02:31,437 They come in all sizes. 1011 01:02:31,437 --> 01:02:34,173 All kinds of sizes, ladies. 1012 01:02:34,173 --> 01:02:35,741 STEVE: Real bodies. 1013 01:02:35,741 --> 01:02:37,109 Real bodies. 1014 01:02:37,109 --> 01:02:38,811 Ectoplasm. 1015 01:02:38,811 --> 01:02:40,012 Ectoplasm. 1016 01:02:40,012 --> 01:02:41,214 With puffs of smoke. 1017 01:02:41,214 --> 01:02:42,581 Puffs of smoke. 1018 01:02:46,819 --> 01:02:48,153 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1019 01:02:50,623 --> 01:02:54,660 Ever been any insanity in your family? 1020 01:02:54,660 --> 01:02:56,795 ( scoffs ) 1021 01:02:56,795 --> 01:02:58,231 Why, look-- 1022 01:03:03,402 --> 01:03:05,871 You think maybe-- No, no, no. 1023 01:03:14,012 --> 01:03:15,814 Pardon me? Yes? 1024 01:03:15,814 --> 01:03:17,550 I wonder if you have any books from the-- 1025 01:03:17,550 --> 01:03:21,019 Oh. Yes, yes, of course. Ghosts up your chimney? 1026 01:03:21,019 --> 01:03:23,822 Poltergeist. That's German. It means noisy ghost. 1027 01:03:23,822 --> 01:03:25,791 Well, how did you know what kind of books I'm--? 1028 01:03:25,791 --> 01:03:27,893 You're Mr. Powell, aren't you? Yes, ma'am. 1029 01:03:27,893 --> 01:03:30,696 Well, most people usually come here a few minutes 1030 01:03:30,696 --> 01:03:33,232 after they've arrived at Twitchell house, and a-- 1031 01:03:33,232 --> 01:03:34,800 So I like to keep the stack ready. 1032 01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,002 Of course some people just get into their car 1033 01:03:37,002 --> 01:03:38,304 and it'sarrivederci. 1034 01:03:38,304 --> 01:03:39,838 ( laughing ): Yeah. 1035 01:03:39,838 --> 01:03:42,308 Have they done much damage yet? Who? 1036 01:03:42,308 --> 01:03:44,109 The ghosts. Look, Miss-- 1037 01:03:44,109 --> 01:03:45,978 Weems. Carol Weems. 1038 01:03:48,414 --> 01:03:49,615 I'm unmarried. 1039 01:03:49,615 --> 01:03:51,750 Well, congratulations. I mean-- 1040 01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:55,020 You're an attractive man, and with Jenny so eager 1041 01:03:55,020 --> 01:03:56,822 and Felicity so deprived, 1042 01:03:56,822 --> 01:03:59,525 well, ghost or not, they're still female. 1043 01:03:59,525 --> 01:04:02,194 If you know what I mean. I don't know what you mean. 1044 01:04:02,194 --> 01:04:05,598 I mean, I do know what you mean, but I don't believe in ghosts. 1045 01:04:05,598 --> 01:04:07,533 Men walk around in space 1046 01:04:07,533 --> 01:04:09,735 with plastic umbilical cords in their navels. 1047 01:04:09,735 --> 01:04:11,637 What's a ghost compared to that? 1048 01:04:11,637 --> 01:04:13,105 Look, miss, there's a big difference 1049 01:04:13,105 --> 01:04:16,041 between a ghost and a man with a plastic navel. 1050 01:04:16,041 --> 01:04:18,511 Don't be afraid to believe in ghosts, Mr. Powell. 1051 01:04:18,511 --> 01:04:19,978 I'm not afraid to believe in anything. 1052 01:04:19,978 --> 01:04:22,548 I didn't intend to put you on the defensive. 1053 01:04:22,548 --> 01:04:24,283 If you just take these books 1054 01:04:24,283 --> 01:04:25,918 and go over to one of those tables over there 1055 01:04:25,918 --> 01:04:29,288 and just glance through them. Thank you. 1056 01:04:29,288 --> 01:04:30,889 And when you're finished with those, 1057 01:04:30,889 --> 01:04:33,292 I'll give you another batch. You mean there's more? 1058 01:04:33,292 --> 01:04:35,328 Thank you. 1059 01:04:45,404 --> 01:04:46,772 Ghosts up your chimney? 1060 01:04:49,308 --> 01:04:52,244 Mr. Powell, isn't Steve with you? 1061 01:04:52,244 --> 01:04:53,712 Huh? 1062 01:04:57,483 --> 01:04:58,984 It's my older sister, Carol. 1063 01:04:58,984 --> 01:05:01,854 She'll probably wind up marrying an encyclopedia. 1064 01:05:01,854 --> 01:05:03,856 I expected Steve to be with you. 1065 01:05:03,856 --> 01:05:05,924 Well, he promised to be with me, yes. 1066 01:05:05,924 --> 01:05:07,793 Okay, bye. 1067 01:05:09,595 --> 01:05:12,130 Hi. I was waiting for you. 1068 01:05:12,130 --> 01:05:13,566 Oh? How come? 1069 01:05:13,566 --> 01:05:15,267 Felicity told me that you and your father 1070 01:05:15,267 --> 01:05:17,536 were driving to the library. She's got a big mouth. 1071 01:05:17,536 --> 01:05:19,405 Yeah. Well, Dad agreed to read up on ghosts 1072 01:05:19,405 --> 01:05:21,574 but frankly, I don't think it'll help. 1073 01:05:21,574 --> 01:05:23,876 My parents never accept anything that I say. 1074 01:05:23,876 --> 01:05:26,345 I know. But they're all the same. What can we do with them? 1075 01:05:26,345 --> 01:05:28,581 We're stuck with them. Yeah. 1076 01:05:28,581 --> 01:05:30,883 Priscilla, how do I get my folks to believe? 1077 01:05:30,883 --> 01:05:32,651 I don't know, but they better latch on soon 1078 01:05:32,651 --> 01:05:35,153 or something might happen. You mean they're in danger? 1079 01:05:35,153 --> 01:05:37,255 Jenny drowned Captain Pederson. I think she liked him. 1080 01:05:37,255 --> 01:05:40,192 But what have the ghosts got against my father and mother? 1081 01:05:40,192 --> 01:05:41,760 Ghosts are only dead people. 1082 01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:44,062 A psychopath is a psychopath, in or out of the coffin. 1083 01:05:44,062 --> 01:05:48,066 I certainly don't want anything to happen to my parents. 1084 01:05:57,410 --> 01:05:59,378 Spooks, poltergeists. 1085 01:05:59,378 --> 01:06:00,979 Flying objects? Because it's 6 1086 01:06:00,979 --> 01:06:02,815 I'll have the other books ready for you when you return. 1087 01:06:02,815 --> 01:06:05,918 Well, I'm not about-- I've converted others. 1088 01:06:05,918 --> 01:06:09,354 Well, I'm afraid-- All you need is an open mind. 1089 01:06:09,354 --> 01:06:10,756 The right frame of mind 1090 01:06:10,756 --> 01:06:14,292 is so important for so many things. 1091 01:06:14,292 --> 01:06:15,628 Don't you agree? 1092 01:06:15,628 --> 01:06:18,464 ( dramatic theme playing ) 1093 01:06:25,504 --> 01:06:27,440 Steve? 1094 01:06:30,976 --> 01:06:33,746 Mother, I'll have a dietetic anything. 1095 01:06:33,746 --> 01:06:35,514 ( jazz music playing ) 1096 01:06:37,349 --> 01:06:39,351 Beer. 1097 01:06:39,351 --> 01:06:40,819 Beat it, kid. 1098 01:06:40,819 --> 01:06:44,389 Kid? Anybody who sees ghosts is no longer a kid. 1099 01:06:44,389 --> 01:06:45,824 You've seen them, I can tell. 1100 01:06:45,824 --> 01:06:47,993 You're aging right before my eyes. 1101 01:06:47,993 --> 01:06:49,795 Give him his beer, Mother. He's an old man. 1102 01:06:49,795 --> 01:06:51,697 Look, I can get into trouble if-- 1103 01:06:51,697 --> 01:06:53,165 If your kids saw ghosts, 1104 01:06:53,165 --> 01:06:54,800 wouldn't you help them out, you big slob? 1105 01:06:56,168 --> 01:07:00,372 For the legal record, how old are you, sir? 1106 01:07:00,372 --> 01:07:01,707 Forty-two. 1107 01:07:05,110 --> 01:07:06,845 If your folks could see a ghost, 1108 01:07:06,845 --> 01:07:08,413 then they'd know they're in danger 1109 01:07:08,413 --> 01:07:09,815 and they'd get out. 1110 01:07:09,815 --> 01:07:12,150 Would Felicity come to a party at my house 1111 01:07:12,150 --> 01:07:13,786 if I invited her? 1112 01:07:13,786 --> 01:07:15,420 Only if there are men of the sea there. 1113 01:07:15,420 --> 01:07:17,022 She's got this thing about sailors 1114 01:07:17,022 --> 01:07:18,524 because of Ebenezer. 1115 01:07:18,524 --> 01:07:19,725 Well, that's it then. 1116 01:07:19,725 --> 01:07:21,159 I'll have my folks throw 1117 01:07:21,159 --> 01:07:22,861 a surprise masquerade party for my birthday. 1118 01:07:22,861 --> 01:07:25,230 Real heavy on the sea costumes. Brilliant. 1119 01:07:25,230 --> 01:07:27,466 And it would be very diplomatic if I could tell Felicity 1120 01:07:27,466 --> 01:07:29,735 that you're going to buy her all those little items 1121 01:07:29,735 --> 01:07:31,770 that she asked for. It's a deal. 1122 01:07:33,472 --> 01:07:35,841 Are you out of your mind? 1123 01:07:35,841 --> 01:07:38,210 I'm making a citizen's arrest right here. 1124 01:07:38,210 --> 01:07:39,945 But he said he was 42. 1125 01:07:39,945 --> 01:07:42,247 He said he's 42? I'm his father. 1126 01:07:42,247 --> 01:07:43,482 I'm not 42. 1127 01:07:43,482 --> 01:07:46,151 Well, I've got witnesses. 1128 01:07:46,151 --> 01:07:48,020 Gotta go, Priscilla. You bet you've gotta go. 1129 01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:51,056 Come on. Serving a minor. 1130 01:07:54,827 --> 01:07:56,962 ( door creaking open, wind howling ) 1131 01:08:05,904 --> 01:08:07,239 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 1132 01:08:08,340 --> 01:08:09,742 ( gasps ) 1133 01:08:09,742 --> 01:08:12,210 I didn't mean to frighten you. ( sighs ) 1134 01:08:13,779 --> 01:08:15,814 This silly ghost talk of Steve's 1135 01:08:15,814 --> 01:08:17,449 has me right on the edge. 1136 01:08:17,449 --> 01:08:20,018 I just wanted to know if I could call a long distance to Boston. 1137 01:08:20,018 --> 01:08:22,955 Oh, of course you may, my dear. 1138 01:08:26,491 --> 01:08:28,093 Mom. Hey, Mom. 1139 01:08:29,995 --> 01:08:33,498 Mom, you're throwing me a surprise masquerade party 1140 01:08:33,498 --> 01:08:34,833 for my birthday. 1141 01:08:34,833 --> 01:08:36,702 And I want everybody to wear sailor outfits. 1142 01:08:36,702 --> 01:08:38,370 I mean, real Treasure Island stuff, okay? 1143 01:08:38,370 --> 01:08:40,005 Well, if that's what you want, Steve. 1144 01:08:40,005 --> 01:08:41,907 And invite all of your friends from New York. 1145 01:08:41,907 --> 01:08:43,508 Especially bachelors. 1146 01:08:43,508 --> 01:08:45,077 Oh, you mean bachelors your age? 1147 01:08:45,077 --> 01:08:47,279 No, no, no. I mean real bachelors. 1148 01:08:47,279 --> 01:08:49,381 Guys with that look in their eyes, you know. 1149 01:08:49,381 --> 01:08:51,917 But Steve, I-- Kate, what's the difference? 1150 01:08:51,917 --> 01:08:53,686 The main thing is Steve's gonna start 1151 01:08:53,686 --> 01:08:55,020 to cooperate with us, 1152 01:08:55,020 --> 01:08:56,789 and we can start enjoying our summer, right? 1153 01:08:56,789 --> 01:08:58,190 Right. I'll be back in a few minutes. 1154 01:08:58,190 --> 01:08:59,858 Oh, but lunch is almost ready. Oh, no, no. 1155 01:08:59,858 --> 01:09:02,094 I've gotta go pick some daisies. Bye. 1156 01:09:03,629 --> 01:09:08,333 Pick some daisies? Masquerade party? 1157 01:09:08,333 --> 01:09:09,868 Isn't he acting strangely? 1158 01:09:09,868 --> 01:09:12,805 With him, how can you tell? 1159 01:09:12,805 --> 01:09:15,340 Well, did you learn anything at the library? 1160 01:09:15,340 --> 01:09:18,043 Yeah. I learned one thing. 1161 01:09:18,043 --> 01:09:19,912 There ain't no such thing as ghosts. 1162 01:09:19,912 --> 01:09:21,213 Oh. 1163 01:09:21,213 --> 01:09:23,515 And from now on, no more cooking in. 1164 01:09:23,515 --> 01:09:25,083 From now on, we're eating out. 1165 01:09:25,083 --> 01:09:29,121 Well, it's nice to see you in such a good mood. 1166 01:09:31,323 --> 01:09:34,292 How about I mix us a couple of drinks? 1167 01:09:34,292 --> 01:09:36,061 Mm-hm. 1168 01:09:37,429 --> 01:09:38,764 Hey, got a great idea. 1169 01:09:38,764 --> 01:09:40,633 Let's invite my boss to the party. 1170 01:09:40,633 --> 01:09:43,602 I'll let him fire me face-to-face. 1171 01:09:43,602 --> 01:09:45,303 Then I'll shove him off the cliff. 1172 01:09:45,303 --> 01:09:48,073 ( chuckling ) 1173 01:09:50,943 --> 01:09:53,178 Yeah? You insurance boys are all the same. 1174 01:09:53,178 --> 01:09:56,281 You like to pull it in, but you hate to shell out. 1175 01:09:56,281 --> 01:09:57,683 Yeah, I know about that. 1176 01:09:57,683 --> 01:09:59,051 That Steve's a changed boy. 1177 01:09:59,051 --> 01:10:01,654 Now don't tell me. I'm telling you. 1178 01:10:01,654 --> 01:10:04,589 And if you come to the party, Felicity dear, 1179 01:10:04,589 --> 01:10:07,059 Steve will buy you those feminine items 1180 01:10:07,059 --> 01:10:08,794 that you wanted. 1181 01:10:08,794 --> 01:10:11,263 Gift wrapped. 1182 01:10:11,263 --> 01:10:13,799 Don't give me any of that bourgeois, sonny. 1183 01:10:13,799 --> 01:10:16,068 You pay somebody's claim then you turn around 1184 01:10:16,068 --> 01:10:18,637 and raise somebody else's rates. 1185 01:10:18,637 --> 01:10:21,039 So two yachts sank in two days. 1186 01:10:21,039 --> 01:10:22,941 Is it my fault that the ship builders 1187 01:10:22,941 --> 01:10:25,844 are building boats out of soda crackers today? 1188 01:10:26,879 --> 01:10:28,346 Kate, were you in the living room? 1189 01:10:28,346 --> 01:10:30,015 When? Never mind. 1190 01:10:30,015 --> 01:10:31,884 I have to go back into town. 1191 01:10:31,884 --> 01:10:33,686 Well, what about lunch? 1192 01:10:33,686 --> 01:10:35,788 I forgot something. 1193 01:10:37,289 --> 01:10:39,057 You threatening me, sonny? 1194 01:10:39,057 --> 01:10:42,127 I'll buy your whole company and-- 1195 01:10:42,127 --> 01:10:45,097 Yeah, the same to you, sonny. 1196 01:10:45,097 --> 01:10:46,999 Yeah? And so is your old man. 1197 01:10:46,999 --> 01:10:48,901 And earrings that sparkle. 1198 01:10:48,901 --> 01:10:51,303 And five-day deodorant. 1199 01:10:52,570 --> 01:10:53,906 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1200 01:10:58,276 --> 01:11:00,412 ( car horn honking ) ( tires screeching ) 1201 01:11:05,050 --> 01:11:07,686 I think I'll buy me an insurance company. 1202 01:11:07,686 --> 01:11:09,087 Those guys got it made. 1203 01:11:09,087 --> 01:11:10,222 ( laughs ) 1204 01:11:10,222 --> 01:11:11,724 Lunch will be ready in just a minute. 1205 01:11:11,724 --> 01:11:13,191 Well, just holler. 1206 01:11:13,191 --> 01:11:15,527 I'm going out to my truck to get that guarantee 1207 01:11:15,527 --> 01:11:17,395 for yesterday's yacht. 1208 01:11:19,297 --> 01:11:21,399 ( suspenseful theme playing ) 1209 01:12:02,908 --> 01:12:04,977 ( door creaking, wind humming ) 1210 01:12:12,317 --> 01:12:13,952 ( wind humming ) 1211 01:12:15,553 --> 01:12:17,489 ( female voice moaning ) 1212 01:12:33,671 --> 01:12:35,173 ( gasps ) 1213 01:12:39,577 --> 01:12:41,814 ( gasps ) 1214 01:12:41,814 --> 01:12:43,949 ( moaning ) 1215 01:13:08,473 --> 01:13:10,408 ( swooshing ) 1216 01:13:12,444 --> 01:13:14,379 ( screaming ) 1217 01:13:25,457 --> 01:13:27,192 Kate! 1218 01:13:31,096 --> 01:13:32,464 Fill her up, Mother. 1219 01:13:32,464 --> 01:13:34,232 Have one yourself. You need it. 1220 01:13:34,232 --> 01:13:36,101 ( dramatic theme playing ) 1221 01:13:37,369 --> 01:13:38,904 ( chuckles ) 1222 01:13:45,477 --> 01:13:48,881 I told you about the Twitchell house, didn't I? 1223 01:13:56,021 --> 01:13:57,990 There will never be peace in that house 1224 01:13:57,990 --> 01:14:00,158 until Felicity finds a man. 1225 01:14:00,158 --> 01:14:03,161 Thus freeing Jenny and Ebenezer. 1226 01:14:05,964 --> 01:14:08,233 Don't fight it, Ben. 1227 01:14:08,233 --> 01:14:10,535 Accept the inevitable. 1228 01:14:17,675 --> 01:14:21,213 I hope these local quacks went to regular medical school. 1229 01:14:21,213 --> 01:14:22,480 And just didn't phone in 1230 01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:24,917 for some cockamamy certificate. 1231 01:14:24,917 --> 01:14:28,586 What I can't figure out is where that tunnel leads to. 1232 01:14:28,586 --> 01:14:29,922 Probably the cove. 1233 01:14:29,922 --> 01:14:33,291 Well, where did all that colored smoke come from? 1234 01:14:33,291 --> 01:14:36,861 Sunshine playing tricks with the dust down there. 1235 01:14:36,861 --> 01:14:38,063 And the lights went out 1236 01:14:38,063 --> 01:14:40,032 because the wiring in that museum 1237 01:14:40,032 --> 01:14:43,035 is as antiquated as privies. 1238 01:14:43,035 --> 01:14:46,471 All right. How did the door close by itself? 1239 01:14:46,471 --> 01:14:48,006 Drafty cellar. 1240 01:14:48,006 --> 01:14:50,208 Kate, one thing I've learned in life: 1241 01:14:50,208 --> 01:14:52,510 Everything has an answer. 1242 01:14:52,510 --> 01:14:55,380 And if it hasn't, you can buy one. 1243 01:14:55,380 --> 01:14:59,617 I suppose. But what about the knife? 1244 01:15:06,224 --> 01:15:08,126 Yes. You dig deep enough, 1245 01:15:08,126 --> 01:15:09,761 you find reasons for everything. 1246 01:15:09,761 --> 01:15:11,229 ( mysterious theme playing ) 1247 01:15:13,698 --> 01:15:17,369 Adultery? What makes you say a thing like adultery? 1248 01:15:17,369 --> 01:15:19,471 Well, you see, a long time ago, this Felicity dame-- 1249 01:15:19,471 --> 01:15:21,139 I mean, she was a real dog, you know. 1250 01:15:21,139 --> 01:15:23,475 Well, anyway, on her honeymoon, this Ebenezer cat went-- 1251 01:15:23,475 --> 01:15:27,245 Now, Steve. I called you in here for a very important talk. 1252 01:15:27,245 --> 01:15:28,947 You know, man-to-man stuff. 1253 01:15:28,947 --> 01:15:31,449 Yeah, but gee, Dad, we learned all about that stuff in school, 1254 01:15:31,449 --> 01:15:33,285 so you don't have to bother-- Steve. 1255 01:15:33,285 --> 01:15:36,288 Look, let's pretend like I'm not your father. 1256 01:15:36,288 --> 01:15:37,855 Say, I'm a complete stranger. 1257 01:15:37,855 --> 01:15:39,491 Somebody that you listen to. 1258 01:15:39,491 --> 01:15:41,459 That's called sarcasm, isn't it, Dad? 1259 01:15:41,459 --> 01:15:44,329 That's right. That's sarcasm. 1260 01:15:44,329 --> 01:15:46,965 Now, I think I saw something in that mirror today. 1261 01:15:46,965 --> 01:15:49,534 Dad, you believe! I said I think. 1262 01:15:49,534 --> 01:15:52,004 Now, I don't wanna say anything about this to your mother 1263 01:15:52,004 --> 01:15:53,405 because I don't wanna frighten her. 1264 01:15:53,405 --> 01:15:55,440 We won't tell her about my inviting the ghosts. 1265 01:15:55,440 --> 01:15:58,910 Good, don't tell her about inviting any g-- 1266 01:15:58,910 --> 01:16:00,445 What did you say? 1267 01:16:00,445 --> 01:16:02,514 Well, gee, Dad. I invited this frustrated virgin ghost 1268 01:16:02,514 --> 01:16:04,482 Felicity to the party so you could see her. 1269 01:16:04,482 --> 01:16:09,354 Steve, how do you invite a ghost anywhere? 1270 01:16:09,354 --> 01:16:11,956 Well, you see, Priscilla tunes them in at the graves. 1271 01:16:11,956 --> 01:16:13,425 And then throw daisies all around. 1272 01:16:13,425 --> 01:16:16,028 Then she chants and we all-- Steve, never mind. 1273 01:16:16,028 --> 01:16:17,729 You just point out this Felicity, 1274 01:16:17,729 --> 01:16:19,097 this virgin ghost, 1275 01:16:19,097 --> 01:16:20,665 you point her out to me at the party. 1276 01:16:20,665 --> 01:16:22,867 And if I see her, I promise you we'll leave here 1277 01:16:22,867 --> 01:16:24,402 quicker than my boss could fire me. 1278 01:16:24,402 --> 01:16:25,403 Groovy. 1279 01:16:25,403 --> 01:16:26,804 You didn't hear what I said. 1280 01:16:26,804 --> 01:16:28,273 Fire me. Never mind. 1281 01:16:28,273 --> 01:16:29,707 Here, let me help you. You'll be all right. 1282 01:16:29,707 --> 01:16:31,476 BEN: What happened? STEVE: Are you okay, Mom? 1283 01:16:31,476 --> 01:16:33,911 Yes, I'm all right, dear. I just bumped my head. 1284 01:16:33,911 --> 01:16:35,113 She fell in the cellar. 1285 01:16:35,113 --> 01:16:36,414 Did you take her to a doctor? 1286 01:16:36,414 --> 01:16:37,815 Well, somebody had to. I'm sorry 1287 01:16:37,815 --> 01:16:39,584 I couldn't be there to help you, sweetheart. 1288 01:16:39,584 --> 01:16:42,720 Oh, that's all right. You were probably busy in town. 1289 01:16:45,290 --> 01:16:47,959 Tonight we'll find the best restaurant. 1290 01:16:47,959 --> 01:16:50,728 I don't feel like going out tonight, thank you. 1291 01:16:50,728 --> 01:16:53,531 Kate. I'm really worried about your head. 1292 01:16:53,531 --> 01:16:56,668 I think my head is just beginning to clear. 1293 01:16:56,668 --> 01:16:57,869 Is anything wrong? 1294 01:16:57,869 --> 01:17:00,105 ( phone rings ) 1295 01:17:00,105 --> 01:17:01,673 I'll get it. 1296 01:17:01,673 --> 01:17:03,741 ( phone ringing ) 1297 01:17:10,848 --> 01:17:12,917 Hello? 1298 01:17:12,917 --> 01:17:15,420 Oh, hello, Carol. 1299 01:17:16,921 --> 01:17:18,890 ( chuckles ) 1300 01:17:18,890 --> 01:17:20,292 Priscilla told me 1301 01:17:20,292 --> 01:17:24,729 that your son invited Felicity to his party. 1302 01:17:24,729 --> 01:17:26,864 Yes, and I'd like that to be our little secret. 1303 01:17:26,864 --> 01:17:29,667 And that discussion at Mother's helped me 1304 01:17:29,667 --> 01:17:32,404 make up my mind about quite a few things. 1305 01:17:32,404 --> 01:17:35,240 Oh, and I'd feel better if you'd come to the party. 1306 01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,442 I think that's very wise 1307 01:17:37,442 --> 01:17:40,044 because I know what Felicity looks like 1308 01:17:40,044 --> 01:17:41,679 and I can point her out to you. 1309 01:17:41,679 --> 01:17:43,515 Oh, you understand that my wife 1310 01:17:43,515 --> 01:17:46,084 is to know nothing about this? 1311 01:17:47,085 --> 01:17:49,087 Thank you. Bye. 1312 01:17:49,087 --> 01:17:50,422 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1313 01:18:03,868 --> 01:18:05,170 ( doorknob rattling ) 1314 01:18:05,170 --> 01:18:08,306 Kate? Kate. 1315 01:18:08,306 --> 01:18:10,007 I'm resting. 1316 01:18:10,007 --> 01:18:12,710 That's a good idea. Do you have anything to read? 1317 01:18:12,710 --> 01:18:14,812 I could always run back to the library? 1318 01:18:14,812 --> 01:18:18,250 That won't be necessary. 1319 01:18:24,722 --> 01:18:28,593 High-gloss lacquer deodorant spray? 1320 01:18:28,593 --> 01:18:30,662 It has a five-day guarantee, right? 1321 01:18:30,662 --> 01:18:33,531 It certainly does. It takes five days 1322 01:18:33,531 --> 01:18:35,733 and a pint of turpentine to scrape it off. 1323 01:18:35,733 --> 01:18:37,602 We haven't carried it for years. 1324 01:18:37,602 --> 01:18:38,670 Oh. 1325 01:18:38,670 --> 01:18:41,439 I'm told it was an immediate failure 1326 01:18:41,439 --> 01:18:43,308 until the farmers started buying it 1327 01:18:43,308 --> 01:18:44,842 to spray livestock. 1328 01:18:44,842 --> 01:18:47,111 Well, I'll have that nifty-looking one 1329 01:18:47,111 --> 01:18:48,613 over there instead, okay? 1330 01:18:48,613 --> 01:18:52,484 Oh, and some bright red Tujour lipstick, 1331 01:18:52,484 --> 01:18:56,188 Ooh La La perfume number 3. 1332 01:18:56,188 --> 01:18:58,923 and Kiss Me Quick nail polish. 1333 01:18:58,923 --> 01:19:00,692 Those items are so ancient, 1334 01:19:00,692 --> 01:19:03,361 I didn't think anyone under 90 remembered them. 1335 01:19:03,361 --> 01:19:05,062 Who are they for? 1336 01:19:05,062 --> 01:19:10,168 Well, you might say they're for an old-fashioned girl. 1337 01:19:10,168 --> 01:19:12,537 He bought all that? 1338 01:19:12,537 --> 01:19:15,307 Yeah, yeah, it's all right to charge it. 1339 01:19:18,243 --> 01:19:20,878 Is this sheer enough? 1340 01:19:23,748 --> 01:19:27,018 Is this the sexiest number you've got? 1341 01:19:27,018 --> 01:19:29,454 Just a moment please. I think I better have 1342 01:19:29,454 --> 01:19:32,690 one of our younger salespeople help you. 1343 01:19:38,830 --> 01:19:41,566 Operator, I wanna speak person to person 1344 01:19:41,566 --> 01:19:44,369 to the psychologist at E-Z Flush Incorporated 1345 01:19:44,369 --> 01:19:45,937 in Dubuque. 1346 01:19:45,937 --> 01:19:47,672 No, I don't know his name. 1347 01:19:47,672 --> 01:19:49,907 Just ask for the house headshrinker. 1348 01:19:54,879 --> 01:19:56,848 Hmm. 1349 01:19:56,848 --> 01:19:58,350 All right, Mr. Himer. 1350 01:19:58,350 --> 01:20:00,352 You won't be needing that that any longer. 1351 01:20:00,352 --> 01:20:03,221 There we are. 1352 01:20:03,221 --> 01:20:05,623 Uh-huh. 1353 01:20:05,623 --> 01:20:08,660 Mr. Himer, when you were a child, 1354 01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:11,596 you used to carry a blanket with you around the house. 1355 01:20:13,398 --> 01:20:14,899 You didn't? 1356 01:20:16,701 --> 01:20:18,636 Mm-hm. 1357 01:20:19,904 --> 01:20:22,307 Well, did you ever, uh--? 1358 01:20:22,307 --> 01:20:23,508 ( phone ringing ) 1359 01:20:23,508 --> 01:20:25,910 I'll be right back. 1360 01:20:25,910 --> 01:20:27,712 Hmm. Right. 1361 01:20:29,681 --> 01:20:33,351 Dr. Frieden speaking. May I please call you back? 1362 01:20:33,351 --> 01:20:35,887 Mr. Merkimmer who owns the, uh--? 1363 01:20:35,887 --> 01:20:39,424 Ah, yes, yes, yes. Please put him on. 1364 01:20:39,424 --> 01:20:41,893 Mr. Merkimmer. I never had the pleasure of-- 1365 01:20:41,893 --> 01:20:44,095 UNCLE GEORGE ( over phone ): Shut up and listen. 1366 01:20:44,095 --> 01:20:45,430 Ah-ha. 1367 01:20:45,430 --> 01:20:48,766 What would you make of a boy going on 16 1368 01:20:48,766 --> 01:20:50,668 that buys lipstick and nail polish 1369 01:20:50,668 --> 01:20:52,470 and perfume and night gowns? 1370 01:20:54,439 --> 01:20:57,609 Well, sir, is he buying these feminine items 1371 01:20:57,609 --> 01:21:00,645 for a young lady or for himself? 1372 01:21:00,645 --> 01:21:03,348 Just between you and me, that's what I wanna find out. 1373 01:21:03,348 --> 01:21:05,517 Any particular shade of nail polish? 1374 01:21:05,517 --> 01:21:06,851 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1375 01:21:09,354 --> 01:21:10,722 Don't look too surprised. 1376 01:21:10,722 --> 01:21:12,724 There are about seven of us so far. 1377 01:21:12,724 --> 01:21:14,326 ( laughs ) 1378 01:21:14,326 --> 01:21:15,560 I'm Mr. Frieden. Oh. 1379 01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:16,861 Mr. Merkimmer invited me. 1380 01:21:16,861 --> 01:21:18,262 Well, any friend of Uncle George is-- 1381 01:21:18,262 --> 01:21:19,797 I know. Is a friend of yours. 1382 01:21:19,797 --> 01:21:22,467 Not necessarily. Come on in. 1383 01:21:22,467 --> 01:21:23,868 Right. Thanks. 1384 01:21:26,438 --> 01:21:29,507 Uncle George, your friend. 1385 01:21:29,507 --> 01:21:31,142 How do you do? 1386 01:21:31,142 --> 01:21:33,478 Mr. Frieden from Dubuque. 1387 01:21:33,478 --> 01:21:35,547 Oh, hello, Leon. How are you? 1388 01:21:35,547 --> 01:21:36,881 My name isn't Leon. Shut up. 1389 01:21:36,881 --> 01:21:38,550 That's the boy over there. 1390 01:21:40,952 --> 01:21:41,986 Ah-ha. 1391 01:21:41,986 --> 01:21:43,655 Don't let him know who you are 1392 01:21:43,655 --> 01:21:46,358 or you can forget about your old-age pension, Leon. 1393 01:21:46,358 --> 01:21:47,592 Uh-huh. 1394 01:21:47,592 --> 01:21:49,461 Steve, did you see anything? 1395 01:21:49,461 --> 01:21:51,095 No, no, not yet, Dad. 1396 01:21:51,095 --> 01:21:53,331 Look, when I point out Felicity to you, don't get scared, 1397 01:21:53,331 --> 01:21:54,799 because, you know, she's just an-- 1398 01:21:54,799 --> 01:21:55,800 Oh, Mr. Frieden. 1399 01:21:55,800 --> 01:21:57,268 This is Steve, the birthday boy. 1400 01:21:57,268 --> 01:21:58,603 How do you do? Steve. 1401 01:21:58,603 --> 01:22:00,338 Mr. Frieden is a friend of Uncle George. 1402 01:22:00,338 --> 01:22:02,474 Oh. I-- You have to excuse me now. 1403 01:22:02,474 --> 01:22:04,108 I want to see what's keeping your mother. 1404 01:22:04,108 --> 01:22:06,878 Oh, yeah. Ahem. 1405 01:22:06,878 --> 01:22:09,146 Well, happy birthday. Thank you. 1406 01:22:09,146 --> 01:22:10,615 I'm sorry, I didn't bring you a present. 1407 01:22:10,615 --> 01:22:12,016 Oh, well, that's okay. 1408 01:22:12,016 --> 01:22:14,719 Who wants presents on their birthday, anyway? 1409 01:22:14,719 --> 01:22:17,655 Steve, I intend to send you a gift. 1410 01:22:17,655 --> 01:22:19,357 Are you partial to anything in particular? 1411 01:22:19,357 --> 01:22:20,592 Well, like what? 1412 01:22:20,592 --> 01:22:23,160 Well, what sort of thing appeal to you? 1413 01:22:23,160 --> 01:22:24,362 Footballs? Yeah. 1414 01:22:24,362 --> 01:22:25,763 Basketballs? 1415 01:22:25,763 --> 01:22:27,799 Perfume? 1416 01:22:27,799 --> 01:22:29,767 Nail polish? 1417 01:22:32,336 --> 01:22:36,374 Boy, I didn't know Uncle George knew any guys like you. 1418 01:22:36,374 --> 01:22:37,709 ( dramatic theme playing ) 1419 01:22:42,914 --> 01:22:47,519 Kate, you look absolutely beautiful. 1420 01:22:47,519 --> 01:22:49,421 So do you. 1421 01:22:49,421 --> 01:22:52,056 Kate, is there anything wrong? I mean, you've been so-- 1422 01:22:52,056 --> 01:22:54,058 ( doorbell rings ) 1423 01:22:54,058 --> 01:22:55,760 Excuse me. 1424 01:23:00,164 --> 01:23:04,035 Carol. Come on in. Gosh, you're dressed-- 1425 01:23:05,703 --> 01:23:08,540 Just like my wife. 1426 01:23:09,774 --> 01:23:12,276 She took a nasty fall recently. 1427 01:23:12,276 --> 01:23:16,914 But come on in and keep an eye out for you-know-what. 1428 01:23:20,317 --> 01:23:22,353 Jenny, will you give back my hat? 1429 01:23:22,353 --> 01:23:24,689 I'll get it. 1430 01:23:27,525 --> 01:23:29,561 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1431 01:23:31,463 --> 01:23:33,531 ( doorbell rings ) 1432 01:23:38,870 --> 01:23:42,774 Well, you sure do look swell, Priscilla. 1433 01:23:42,774 --> 01:23:45,109 Well, come on, I've gotta show you the presents site 1434 01:23:45,109 --> 01:23:48,513 I got for Felicity. 1435 01:23:53,117 --> 01:23:57,154 Well, I just hope Felicity likes all this stuff. 1436 01:23:57,154 --> 01:23:58,790 Here's the deodorant. 1437 01:23:58,790 --> 01:24:01,125 It's not what she wanted, but it's pretty good. 1438 01:24:01,125 --> 01:24:05,697 Stockings, more stockings, 1439 01:24:05,697 --> 01:24:10,735 perfume, lipstick, um-- 1440 01:24:10,735 --> 01:24:14,038 Here's the negli-- Negli-- 1441 01:24:15,406 --> 01:24:19,777 Priscilla. No, no, Priscilla. 1442 01:24:19,777 --> 01:24:22,980 Look, you know, I'm 16 today, Priscilla. 1443 01:24:22,980 --> 01:24:25,016 And you're just not fooling around 1444 01:24:25,016 --> 01:24:29,521 with a kid or anything, you know? 1445 01:24:29,521 --> 01:24:31,222 Priscilla. 1446 01:24:33,057 --> 01:24:34,592 Priscilla. 1447 01:24:36,994 --> 01:24:40,865 Priscilla, you shouldn't. 1448 01:24:40,865 --> 01:24:42,667 Priscilla. 1449 01:24:42,667 --> 01:24:45,537 Priscilla. No. 1450 01:24:45,537 --> 01:24:47,539 Priscilla. 1451 01:24:51,342 --> 01:24:53,110 Priscilla. 1452 01:24:55,479 --> 01:24:59,150 Have you seen any ghosts yet? 1453 01:24:59,150 --> 01:25:00,818 Keep looking. 1454 01:25:06,123 --> 01:25:07,892 Have you seen Leon? 1455 01:25:07,892 --> 01:25:11,495 It's hard to recognize us pirates without a nametag. 1456 01:25:11,495 --> 01:25:14,532 You wanna see Leon? Yup. 1457 01:25:16,467 --> 01:25:19,236 Uncle George wants to see you, Leon. 1458 01:25:19,236 --> 01:25:21,505 Hey, Leon. 1459 01:25:21,505 --> 01:25:22,874 My name isn't Leon. It's-- 1460 01:25:22,874 --> 01:25:24,942 Oh. Oh, Leon. Yeah. That's right. 1461 01:25:24,942 --> 01:25:27,879 Yes, Leon. Thank you, thank you. 1462 01:25:27,879 --> 01:25:29,914 Ah. 1463 01:25:29,914 --> 01:25:32,684 I understand you wanted to see me. 1464 01:25:32,684 --> 01:25:36,287 Is the boy gonna grow up to be a marine or a whack? 1465 01:25:36,287 --> 01:25:40,324 Well, I haven't had enough time to determine. 1466 01:25:40,324 --> 01:25:41,659 Listen here, sonny. 1467 01:25:41,659 --> 01:25:44,596 I flew you clear across the country to do a job. 1468 01:25:44,596 --> 01:25:47,231 Not to live it up. 1469 01:25:47,231 --> 01:25:48,532 Yes, sir. Yes, uh-- 1470 01:25:48,532 --> 01:25:51,102 Yeah. Thanks, yes, sir. 1471 01:26:00,077 --> 01:26:03,748 Pardon me, could you tell me where young Steve is? 1472 01:26:11,188 --> 01:26:13,791 ( wind whistling ) 1473 01:26:37,514 --> 01:26:40,952 ( doorbell ringing ) 1474 01:26:43,420 --> 01:26:47,959 ( whistling ) 1475 01:26:49,126 --> 01:26:50,127 Happy birthday. 1476 01:26:50,127 --> 01:26:52,196 Hey, for me? Thanks, Miles. 1477 01:26:52,196 --> 01:26:54,298 Why don't you get yourself some junk to eat? 1478 01:26:54,298 --> 01:26:56,133 Okay. 1479 01:26:58,069 --> 01:27:01,538 Well, how did you change your costume so quickly? 1480 01:27:01,538 --> 01:27:03,307 You know, in my room, you were wearing the blue with-- 1481 01:27:07,945 --> 01:27:10,147 You weren't in my room? 1482 01:27:11,749 --> 01:27:13,084 You--? 1483 01:27:14,151 --> 01:27:16,287 Well, then you and me, we--? 1484 01:27:16,287 --> 01:27:18,122 We didn't--? 1485 01:27:20,591 --> 01:27:22,226 Oh. 1486 01:27:24,361 --> 01:27:25,830 ( gulps ) 1487 01:27:28,465 --> 01:27:29,901 Happy birthday. 1488 01:27:33,504 --> 01:27:34,872 Thanks. 1489 01:27:37,574 --> 01:27:39,110 What's on your mind, sailor? 1490 01:27:39,110 --> 01:27:41,779 She's a ghost. Aren't you? 1491 01:27:43,514 --> 01:27:46,517 Kids. You never know what they're gonna say next. 1492 01:27:46,517 --> 01:27:48,953 ( laughing ) 1493 01:27:48,953 --> 01:27:51,956 Well, she is a ghost. 1494 01:27:56,660 --> 01:27:58,662 Keep your eye on her. 1495 01:27:58,662 --> 01:27:59,864 Dad. 1496 01:27:59,864 --> 01:28:01,632 Felicity's here. 1497 01:28:01,632 --> 01:28:03,367 Felicity? Where? Where? 1498 01:28:03,367 --> 01:28:05,803 Well, she's talking to Uncle George. 1499 01:28:07,939 --> 01:28:11,342 That's Mary Ambrosh, the hairdresser's wife. 1500 01:28:11,342 --> 01:28:13,344 Felicity just went through the front door. 1501 01:28:26,958 --> 01:28:28,993 Can I speak to your father a minute, please? 1502 01:28:28,993 --> 01:28:32,163 Look, you stay away from my father. 1503 01:28:40,204 --> 01:28:42,206 Excuse me. 1504 01:28:42,206 --> 01:28:45,476 May I talk to you man to man for a minute? 1505 01:28:45,476 --> 01:28:47,979 I just had the strangest experience. 1506 01:28:47,979 --> 01:28:52,049 There was this girl. Very attractive, blond type. 1507 01:28:52,049 --> 01:28:55,820 And we were behind the tree. 1508 01:28:57,388 --> 01:29:01,225 One minute she was there, and then suddenly-- 1509 01:29:13,337 --> 01:29:15,973 Kate, it's a lovely birthday party. 1510 01:29:15,973 --> 01:29:18,342 You seem to be having a good time. 1511 01:29:18,342 --> 01:29:19,743 Oh, come on. 1512 01:29:19,743 --> 01:29:23,114 I have to speak to you. Leon, not now. 1513 01:29:24,949 --> 01:29:26,150 Keep Steve handy. 1514 01:29:26,150 --> 01:29:27,684 I have a little present for him. 1515 01:29:27,684 --> 01:29:29,320 I hope it's money. 1516 01:29:29,320 --> 01:29:31,455 You wouldn't have said that if you were sober. 1517 01:29:31,455 --> 01:29:33,357 It's up in my room. 1518 01:29:49,173 --> 01:29:51,308 You know what your Uncle George has been up to? 1519 01:29:51,308 --> 01:29:52,309 Tell her, Leon. 1520 01:29:52,309 --> 01:29:54,011 Mr. Merkimmer-- Never mind. 1521 01:29:54,011 --> 01:29:56,313 Where is he? He's "upshtairs." 1522 01:29:56,313 --> 01:29:58,349 And I know I said "shtairs." 1523 01:29:58,349 --> 01:30:00,151 Shtairs. 1524 01:30:02,386 --> 01:30:04,288 Oh, Carol, honey. 1525 01:30:04,288 --> 01:30:07,491 Have you read any good dirty books lately? 1526 01:30:14,065 --> 01:30:16,200 ( Uncle George groaning ) 1527 01:30:29,213 --> 01:30:30,447 Okay. 1528 01:30:37,955 --> 01:30:40,925 Take it easy. 1529 01:30:40,925 --> 01:30:42,526 I'll get you. 1530 01:30:42,526 --> 01:30:43,928 ( groaning ) 1531 01:30:45,496 --> 01:30:49,566 Wait a minute. Wait a minute, you-- 1532 01:30:52,269 --> 01:30:54,305 Okay. 1533 01:30:56,073 --> 01:30:57,875 What happened? 1534 01:30:57,875 --> 01:31:01,512 I'm changing my will tomorrow. 1535 01:31:01,512 --> 01:31:04,315 You think I had anything to do with this? 1536 01:31:04,315 --> 01:31:07,018 You mean to tell me you didn't sneak up 1537 01:31:07,018 --> 01:31:09,120 and grab me from behind? 1538 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:12,389 I strung you up and then I pulled you down? 1539 01:31:12,389 --> 01:31:16,393 Who knows what a sick mind is capable of doing? 1540 01:31:16,393 --> 01:31:18,562 Why don't you ask your Dr. Leon? 1541 01:31:18,562 --> 01:31:19,830 Yeah, that boy of yours. 1542 01:31:19,830 --> 01:31:23,134 Look, my wife and I will decide if Steve needs anything. 1543 01:31:23,134 --> 01:31:25,102 He's got more problems than you think. 1544 01:31:25,102 --> 01:31:26,537 You're the one with the problems. 1545 01:31:26,537 --> 01:31:29,006 Just because you're the head of E-Z Flush 1546 01:31:29,006 --> 01:31:30,474 doesn't make you the head of my family. 1547 01:31:30,474 --> 01:31:32,176 I warned Kate not to marry a loser. 1548 01:31:32,176 --> 01:31:33,444 What do you know about marriage, 1549 01:31:33,444 --> 01:31:34,912 you walking safety-deposit box? 1550 01:31:34,912 --> 01:31:36,213 You know so much about marriage, 1551 01:31:36,213 --> 01:31:37,581 why don't you get married yourself? 1552 01:31:37,581 --> 01:31:39,416 Well, because I-- Because you're afraid 1553 01:31:39,416 --> 01:31:42,453 they were after your piggy bank, not your sweet disposition. 1554 01:31:44,288 --> 01:31:45,689 Hmm. 1555 01:31:45,689 --> 01:31:49,660 Hey, I think maybe we didn't throw enough daisies? 1556 01:31:56,867 --> 01:31:58,635 Hi. 1557 01:31:59,971 --> 01:32:01,672 How are things in ghost land? 1558 01:32:05,709 --> 01:32:08,980 Gee, I hope you like the presents, ma'am. 1559 01:32:08,980 --> 01:32:11,882 That deodorant goop isn't exactly what you wanted, 1560 01:32:11,882 --> 01:32:14,051 but it's still pretty powerful. 1561 01:32:21,225 --> 01:32:22,859 Why are you in such a hurry? 1562 01:32:22,859 --> 01:32:25,162 Wouldn't you like to stay and listen to some records? 1563 01:32:25,162 --> 01:32:27,564 Go get my father, quick. 1564 01:32:28,665 --> 01:32:29,866 I wish you'd stay. 1565 01:32:29,866 --> 01:32:32,003 My parents are dying to meet you. 1566 01:32:34,005 --> 01:32:35,206 Mr. Powell, quick. 1567 01:32:35,206 --> 01:32:36,540 Felicity is in Steve's bedroom. 1568 01:32:36,540 --> 01:32:38,042 Tell your sister I wanna see her right away. 1569 01:32:38,042 --> 01:32:39,443 Okay. 1570 01:32:39,443 --> 01:32:42,713 Uh, see you later, sweetheart. 1571 01:32:42,713 --> 01:32:44,581 Mrs. Powell-- Oh, Carol. 1572 01:32:44,581 --> 01:32:45,649 Carol dear. 1573 01:32:45,649 --> 01:32:51,088 My husband wants you, you librarian. 1574 01:32:51,088 --> 01:32:53,357 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1575 01:33:07,038 --> 01:33:09,540 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 1576 01:33:32,963 --> 01:33:35,199 No, you've gotta wait for my dad to see you. 1577 01:33:35,199 --> 01:33:37,501 ( creaking ) 1578 01:33:43,374 --> 01:33:44,708 STEVE: No, please, wait! 1579 01:33:44,708 --> 01:33:47,244 Steve? STEVE: Don't come down, Mom! 1580 01:33:47,244 --> 01:33:48,845 KATE: Steve? STEVE: Look out, Ma. 1581 01:33:48,845 --> 01:33:50,647 She's got a cleaver! 1582 01:33:50,647 --> 01:33:52,349 KATE: Steve. 1583 01:33:54,351 --> 01:33:57,721 Kate. Kate, you all right? 1584 01:33:57,721 --> 01:34:00,857 STEVE: Dad, she's getting away! 1585 01:34:00,857 --> 01:34:05,062 My son talks to empty cellars. 1586 01:34:05,062 --> 01:34:08,065 And he throws meat cleavers at his mother. 1587 01:34:08,065 --> 01:34:09,400 Sweetheart, believe me, 1588 01:34:09,400 --> 01:34:11,468 you're taking all this too seriously. 1589 01:34:11,468 --> 01:34:13,970 Believe me-- Dad, will you please? 1590 01:34:13,970 --> 01:34:17,441 Making out at a time like this? 1591 01:34:17,441 --> 01:34:20,877 You and that sexy bookworm. Playing right-- 1592 01:34:20,877 --> 01:34:24,115 What playing? There was nothing between us. 1593 01:34:24,115 --> 01:34:25,749 That was all that ghost business. 1594 01:34:25,749 --> 01:34:26,983 Believe me. 1595 01:34:26,983 --> 01:34:28,552 Sweetheart, I love only you. 1596 01:34:28,552 --> 01:34:30,821 I love you. Don't you understand that? 1597 01:34:34,291 --> 01:34:36,360 All you had to do was look. 1598 01:34:37,928 --> 01:34:40,164 I know you wouldn't see her. I just knew it. 1599 01:34:40,164 --> 01:34:43,667 Making out on the stairs. 1600 01:34:43,667 --> 01:34:45,202 ( laughing ) 1601 01:34:45,202 --> 01:34:47,938 Making out. 1602 01:34:47,938 --> 01:34:51,375 ( both laughing ) 1603 01:34:59,250 --> 01:35:01,452 Lovely evening for shopping? 1604 01:35:01,452 --> 01:35:03,154 May I? 1605 01:35:06,590 --> 01:35:09,726 Would you care to come for a walk? 1606 01:35:27,811 --> 01:35:30,181 Ah, that's right, honey. 1607 01:35:30,181 --> 01:35:32,749 I don't have a penny to my name. 1608 01:35:32,749 --> 01:35:34,050 But all the same-- 1609 01:35:34,050 --> 01:35:36,387 ( Uncle George screaming ) 1610 01:35:36,387 --> 01:35:38,355 ( glasses break ) 1611 01:35:50,133 --> 01:35:52,736 Mr. Merkimmer, you just fell! 1612 01:35:54,171 --> 01:35:56,507 You're standing on nothing. 1613 01:36:30,607 --> 01:36:32,243 Ah! 1614 01:36:32,243 --> 01:36:34,311 (Screaming) 1615 01:36:45,121 --> 01:36:46,457 ( romantic theme playing ) 1616 01:36:50,093 --> 01:36:52,463 How did you like the party? 1617 01:36:52,463 --> 01:36:54,398 Everybody stayed late. Mmm. 1618 01:36:54,398 --> 01:36:56,267 ( both laugh ) 1619 01:36:56,267 --> 01:36:58,602 Hey, have you seen Uncle George anywhere? 1620 01:36:58,602 --> 01:37:00,537 No. 1621 01:37:00,537 --> 01:37:02,038 I said some pretty rough things to him. 1622 01:37:02,038 --> 01:37:05,108 You know, I think we'd all be happier 1623 01:37:05,108 --> 01:37:08,078 if we left this house tonight. 1624 01:37:08,078 --> 01:37:09,780 Mmm. 1625 01:37:13,784 --> 01:37:17,488 I think it would be better if we left in the morning. 1626 01:37:19,623 --> 01:37:21,057 Wouldn't hurt. Wouldn't hurt. 1627 01:37:21,057 --> 01:37:22,993 ( truck engine starts ) 1628 01:37:24,461 --> 01:37:26,930 Hey, that's Uncle George's truck. 1629 01:37:31,101 --> 01:37:34,271 Uncle George! Uncle George! 1630 01:37:35,472 --> 01:37:37,140 Gee, he left in a hurry. 1631 01:37:37,140 --> 01:37:38,809 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1632 01:37:49,219 --> 01:37:51,121 Steve, um, we were thinking 1633 01:37:51,121 --> 01:37:53,557 maybe you'd like to drive part of the way home? 1634 01:37:54,925 --> 01:37:56,827 But I haven't taken my driver's test yet. 1635 01:37:56,827 --> 01:37:59,530 Well, you've been telling us you know how to drive. 1636 01:37:59,530 --> 01:38:01,665 Why should you take my word for it all of a sudden? 1637 01:38:01,665 --> 01:38:03,367 You never believe anything I say. 1638 01:38:03,367 --> 01:38:04,735 Your mother and I, 1639 01:38:04,735 --> 01:38:07,237 we've had a lot on our minds lately and-- 1640 01:38:07,237 --> 01:38:10,341 Well, you're 16 now. Practically a man. 1641 01:38:13,610 --> 01:38:15,512 I am sorry I yelled at you. 1642 01:38:15,512 --> 01:38:17,881 Steve, there's so much noise in the world today 1643 01:38:17,881 --> 01:38:20,351 sometimes a fella has to yell. 1644 01:38:20,351 --> 01:38:21,818 Just to be heard. 1645 01:38:25,422 --> 01:38:27,458 ( upbeat theme playing ) 1646 01:38:52,549 --> 01:38:54,385 Well, my boss didn't show up at the party. 1647 01:38:54,385 --> 01:38:56,052 So if he fires me, I think I'll quit. 1648 01:38:56,052 --> 01:38:57,253 ( all laugh ) 1649 01:38:57,253 --> 01:38:59,089 There are other jobs. Yeah. 1650 01:38:59,089 --> 01:39:01,257 What would we do if Mom inherited a barrel of dollars 1651 01:39:01,257 --> 01:39:02,826 from Uncle George? 1652 01:39:02,826 --> 01:39:05,662 You mean if he isn't changing his will at this minute? 1653 01:39:05,662 --> 01:39:09,165 I think the first thing we'd do is buy you a car, Steve. 1654 01:39:09,165 --> 01:39:11,702 And then we'd take a trip to Europe. 1655 01:39:11,702 --> 01:39:13,069 Hey, we could go to Ireland. 1656 01:39:13,069 --> 01:39:14,938 They're loaded with ghosts, you know. 1657 01:39:14,938 --> 01:39:16,673 Oh. Oh. 1658 01:39:23,880 --> 01:39:26,249 Hey, keep your eye on the road! 1659 01:39:26,249 --> 01:39:30,787 Oh. Sorry, Dad. I really am. 1660 01:39:30,787 --> 01:39:34,991 Uh, I didn't mean to raise my voice, Steve. 1661 01:39:34,991 --> 01:39:36,159 Forget it. 1662 01:39:36,159 --> 01:39:38,028 ( Kreator's "Willing Spirit" playing )